An Endless Wait.

chapter 10

"He is such a cry-baby, I feel like his agony aunt all the time, you know no matter how hard I try I can never understand him, I cannot predict him, his reactions, his mood swings. nothing. And I feel so miserable all the time and I can't help it, I mess up everything and I try to help him out but nothing, just again, nothing makes him feel better! I don't know what to do and this sucks, sucks to the core what do I do?:( :( :( :'( I need you to call me right away" I pressed the send button and buried my face again in the hollow of my knees, I was sitting on the roof.

 My life was on rollercoaster and its driver was definitely Richard. My ringtone interrupted My thought process .

"What is wrong with him?" Alice asked me 

"Like I know, right!" 

"Answer my question" I could hear the seriousness in her voice now. 

"He is weird" this was getting more and more irritating by the minute. 

"Elaborate" she said 

"oh god I don't know, you know me right? extra caring types that's it!" 

"ok I get it, no need to put words to it listen to me very carefully now, I don't want a single word from you, let me finish first alright?" 

"yeah yeah, you talk like my mom sometimes" I grumbled 

"ok first of all he is a broken toy alright and you cannot fix him, he will fix himself but it's going to take time so you got to be patient whatever the reason is"  

"You know he said somewhat the same thing the other day" 

"shut up. second you got to take it lightly alright, please don't spoil it by being too sweet and caring, trust me it spoils stuff. and most of all remember you are his friend alright just a close friend nothing more. Because frankly people have started asking me and Caroline if u and him are..." 

"Wait what??" I was done with keeping quiet "there is nothing ok? my concern and care is just as a good friend of course he means a lot more, I mean like you do, so yea right now I am discussing this with you, because he means alot but as a friend and I remember that always." 

"I hope our definitions of remembering always are the same" she said  

"yes they are" I said in a very rude voice. 

'whaitaminute' the logical part of my brain yelled again 'why am I getting angry at her? why am I taking out my irritation on her even when she is not the reason for it'  

"hey Alice" I continued "forget it, I'm going to sleep now. See u tomorrow, night, thanks" and I hung up on her.

My mind, a haze I walked down and got into my bed and kept thinking so many questions and I dint even have a single answer.

I put my headphones on and increased the volume till it hurt my ears. It worked, the point of the activity was to stop my thinking, by the end I was singing along and then I fell asleep.

I woke up, it was still dark outside the window. 3 am. I unplugged my headphones and tried to get out of my jeans while lying down. Successful, I went back to my nightmares.