"Here lies the body of someone's vessel. He lived a good life but he never experienced dick."
Yin TuWan wiped his non-existent tear.
"May he rest in peace and may his soul float down to hell safely."
Wei Wuxian just stood besides Wen Ruohan, who laid inside a coffin. Holding a flower in hand as he closed his eyes.
"Mother- it's just another kid-"
_____________________________
HI KIDS! I'm Ahn RieJin and welcome to another episode of National Geographic Channel! Here we have for the first news. Man died of cardiac arrest, reason was his son bought back a new kid! Let's hear the rest of the report from reporter Wen Tan, Wen Tan. You're up darling.
Thank you, whoever you are. The reason why Wen Ruohan had suddenly passed out was because a few days ago, Wen Chao finally came back from Meishan.
"A-Chao! You're home-"
Wen Ruohan dropped the cup of tea he was about to serve Wen Chao.
"Father-"
Wen Ruohan had fainted on the floor.
"Chao-ge? Who's he?"
Wei Wuxian walked over, even he felt himself stiffened up. And he too, fainted.
"Tan? Why did they both faint?"
"I don't know. Is it because YOU'RE CLEARLY HOLDING A BOYS' HAND?!"
Wen Tan gestured to Wen Chaos' hand who was locked with another boys hand.
"But Father would've liked it- I thought-"
Let's look back at how this happened shall we?
Wen Chao and Wen Tan were strolling around Meishan, trying to find the tea shop where they're supposed to pick something up. Before they got there, Wen Chao bumped into someone.
"Hey! Watch it!-"
Wen Chao grabbed his head as he looked up at the taller figure.
"Holy shit..."
"Ah, I'm sorry."
The teen moved away from him.
"No- I- Uh-"
Wen Chao felt his brain short circuit as he processed this teen infront of him. Wen Tan just stood by the side sipping Nesfruta because they knows this shit goin to be fruity.
"You're from the Wen Sect?"
"A-Ah! Where are my manners? I'm Wen Chao! Second Young Master Wen of Qishan."
"You're different from the rumors... Why do you have a flower on your ear?"
"A-AHHH!"
Wen Chao quickly took the flower off as his face burned red.
"N-Not all rumors are true anyways! Y-You idiot!"
The teen just politely smiled.
"I'm Zhao Zhuilu. Rouge cultivator."
"A rouge cultivator?"
"Well I'm looking for a sect to join in right now, that's why I'm in Meishan."
"Y-You can join my sect!"
[WHAT DID I JUST SAY?! FUCK! (๑⌓๑)]
"Join the Qishan Wen?"
Wen Tan was on their second jar of Nesfruta Buko Why Not? CAUSE THIS IS JUICER THAN A COCONUT, BITCH!
"I-I mean it's not like I'm forcing you or anything! You can do whatever you want anyways!"
YOU ARE READING
What if W(h)en
FanfictionClosed What if... Wen Ruohan received news that his bestfriend Cangse Sanren had died and infront of him right now was her son. A thin and dying boy who was being carried by his eldest son. Deciding whether... No fuck it, I'm keeping him. 3am Krazy...
