𝘰𝘳𝘱𝘩𝘪𝘤. [𝘢 𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘪 𝘢𝘶]

Thirty Five

a/n: i dont do authors notes in the beginning unless its important, just letting yall know this chapter is sad and steamy. also has graphic descriptions of getting shot lol and blood lots of it

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Grief.

It's something everyone has to experience.

It's an unavoidable feeling. That gut wrenching feeling. The feeling when your insides curl up with the knowledge of never seeing someone again.

Pain.

Another thing everyone has to experience.

But the difference between me and you, is you don't have to feel the grief and pain I went through on the night before my nineteenth birthday.

I envy you, reader. As you get to go back, and stay in the happy moments of my life. You get to go back and say the things I never did.

Although if I could go back, I wouldn't let anyone leave the house that night. I would coop them up in a corner and never let them leave.

But I, however, am trapped in this tale. I'm trapped with the grief, and the pain. It doesn't go away. I can't flip a couple pages and go back to the good moments I had. I'm stuck here.

I advise you to go back. Enjoy it, because nothing lasts forever.

+

"Wheeeereee haveeee youuu beeeen!! Alll myyy liiifeee!!!" Gina, Ashlyn, Kourtney, Lily and I sing along to the song while we do Just Dance on Ricky's very expensive flat screen TV.

I had my close friends over for a sleepover this weekend cause my birthday was tomorrow. You're probably thinking, what the hell Nina? There is a killer on the loose, stop celebrating and start looking!

My response to that is, no.

It's my birthday tomorrow! I'm gonna party if I damn want to.

"This is my worst nightmare." I hear Ricky complain, but I'm too busy dancing to pay attention to him.

"Ditto."  Levi replies. Ricky invited Levi over to make tonight a little more bearable.

"I'm getting some fucking wine," Ricky grunts, getting up from the couch.

"Wait, get me some!" I stop him before he can leave.

"Um, no."

"Why?"

"You're underage."

"Oh, come on. I'm gonna be nineteen tomorrow! Please?"

"Yeah, no." He walks away before I have a chance to protest anymore.

Ugh.

"Whatever." I grumble, turning back around and dancing again.

A moment later, Ricky comes back with two glasses of wine. He hands one to Levi and one for himself as he sits down on the couch while we continue to do Just Dance.

A couple minutes pass and the video ends. We are all breathing pretty heavily. "I danced better than all of you motherfuckers," Kourtney boasts.

"Well, actually I thought-" Ricky begins, but Lily cuts him off.

"Richard, nobody cares what you thought."

"Damn, my bad." Ricky chuckles, looking over at Levi who was also smirking.

It was then when I noticed Gina was no longer here.

"Hey, where'd Gina go?" I question. Me, Kourtney, Ashlyn, and Lily begin to look around but there's no sight of her.