Chap 5: Survive Somehow

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The anxiety builds inside you the closer you get to Alexandria. You can start to recognise burned out cars, and old shops from your runs as you pass them. You can’t stop the smile from spreading on your lips as you think about seeing everyone again, particularly Rick. You can’t wait to hold him and kiss him and finish what Negan so rudely interrupted. You just wanted to put the last few weeks behind you, as much as you could. You know every time Negan shows up at the gates to take his cut, he’ll probably flash you a wink, giving you a knowing look that reminds you of how he once had you on your knees, begging him to fuck you. You knew he’d revel in it. But at least you’d be home with your family.

“Well don’t you look like a kid on Christmas fuckin’ morning, baby doll?” Negan gives you a look that seems like he’s enjoying it, but you don’t understand why. His tongue slowly runs along his bottom lip as he stares at you but you try to ignore him, not wanting it to dampen your mood. His leather covered hand rests on your upper thigh as he squeezes it.“You’re still fuckin’ mine, sweetheart. Mine until I say otherwise,” he reminds you. You pull up to the gate and the truck stops until you’re allowed in. The familiar sight makes you feel warm inside. You watch as your friends and community gather around the truck, the gate closed behind you

As soon as you see him approach the van your smile cannot be stopped. He notices you and smiles. All you want to do is jump out of the truck and into his arms, but Negan is sat between you and the door. He clicks his tongue, smirking at you, knowing he’s the thing getting between you and your husband. “Stay in the fuckin’ truck.” He instructs, grabbing Lucille and jumping out. You watch him stroll towards Rick, who looks less than pleased that you’re so close but not allowed out. “Ricky, I’ve missed you buddy!” Negan cooes, swinging Lucille around as he talks.

Let her out, please” Rick pleads, referring to you as he talks.

“Now now, Rick, business before fuckin’ pleasure,” Negan chuckles. He turns around to look at you as he licks his bottom lip. He smirks and beckons you with his fingers. Without hesitation you jump down out of the truck and run towards Rick. Before you can reach him Negan has stood in your way and you’ve run straight into him instead. He smiles down at you and lifts a hand to your face, brushing the hair out of it.

You’re still fuckin’ mine.” He reminds you. “Please just let me see him,” You plead. You just want to be back in his arms. Negan sucks his teeth as he thinks about it. He looks around at his men, signalling that they scout the area using a flick of his fingers and a long high pitched whistle. He smiles down at you again before turning around. “Have I got some fuckin’ stories about your piece of ass,” Negan starts and you feel your heart in your throat, wondering if he’s about to tell Rick all about the quivering wreck he can make you. “But let’s go somewhere private to discuss them. I am a fuckin’ gentleman after all. I won’t kiss and tell for every fucker here…” he refers to the crowd that are staring at the three of you intently. You can feel the blush burning your cheeks as Negan leads the way to your house. He makes sure to walk directly between you and Rick, throwing an arm around your shoulders to keep you from straying. You feel like you’re walking into your grave. Negan’s going to tell Rick everything, and when he does, Rick is going to hate you. Because Negan will leave out the threats he made on your family, he’ll leave out the manipulation and clever teasing. He’ll leave out the unspoken rule that consent is an illusion with him. All Rick will hear is how you almost came with Negan’s grubby fingers inside you, how you got on your knees and begged for him to fuck you. How you stood in front of him only hours ago and took all your clothes off

Once you get inside, the three of you linger in the hall way. You look around, feeling the warmth of Home. You’d forgotten how much you’d missed this place. Rick kept looking at you, a wavering smile on his lips now and then, but you knew he wouldn’t relax until Negan was gone. “You’re fuckin’ wifey here is something alright. Goddamn that girl is kinky as fuck. Did you know that?” Negan asks Rick with a sadistic smile. You shake your head instinctively, disagreeing with him. Hoping Rick would know you better than that. Rick glances at you, but ultimately his gaze falls to the floor like it always seemed to do when Negan is around. “See, Prick, I wasn’t planning on keeping my little pet here for as long as I have, but damn she is one tough mother fucker to crack. All I want is one thing from her…do you know what that is Rick?” He prompts. Rick doesn’t answer, just breathes heavily as he holds his gaze to the floor still. “Can you take a wild stab in the dark?” He steps closer to Rick, getting up in his face as he turns to look at you. You feel him drag the tip of Lucille uncomfortably up your leg, as you feel the wire scratching through your jeans, stopping at your centre. “It’s between her legs and has you creaming in your little boy pants.” Negan whispers. He stares at you for a moment as you glare back at him. He lets out a laugh and steps away. “So I might just keep her a while longer until she gives me what I want. Because in case both of you have forgotten, I ALWAYS get what the FUCK I want. I AM IN CHARGE.” He shouts causing both of you to flinch. You squeeze your eyes shut as tears fill them at the realisation you’re not staying. He’s taking you back. It was all just another one of his teasers. “I’m gonna take a whizz and then we’re leaving.” You open your eyes again to see him climb the stairs and once he’s out of sight Rick grabs you and holds you so tightly you might suffocate.

I’m fine. He just won’t let me come home until…” you can’t even bring yourself to say the words. Rick makes sure he has eye contact with you before he talks again.

I’m going to save you, baby. Until then just hold on.” His hands still holding your face as he speaks “no matter what.” You reach up and grab his hand.

“I don’t think I can do it,” You sob. “What if I never come home?” Rick presses his lips to yours, and you want to lose yourself in the kiss.

Just survive, somehow.” He reminds you. You smile, remembering Carl saying that once. You can hear Negan whistling as he starts to descend the stairs and so you don’t get into any trouble for god forbid even touching your husband, you both break your embrace. Negan returns with a smile on his face as he looks between the two of you as you both stand there distraught. Neither of you caring that you’re giving him exactly what he wants.

Come on, doll. My balls are aching to be played with.” He quips flashing Rick a wink.

You reluctantly climb back into the truck, Negan unnecessarily putting his hands on your ass to help you in as he squeezes tightly. Once you’re both in and the truck starts reversing you keep your stare on Rick, not knowing when you’ll see him again. If you’ll see him again. Suddenly, Negan has grabbed your face and is kissing you hard. You pull away, disgusted. You hated him with everything in you. Why was he doing this? Why did he take so much pleasure in breaking Rick and everyone else down to nothingness?

“I hate you.” You mutter, making sure you don’t make eye contact with him.

“Oh darlin’ I’ll have you dripping over my dick in no time.”

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