Cross School

35 - The Party: Part Five - The Girlfriend Conundrum

Charlie found himself experiencing something he never had before. For the first time in his life, he didn't know what to say. He was stumped, in the strange situation he became a reluctant participant in. There she was, his old girlfriend, his past muse, the girl he loved. And there he was, dressed as a girl, pretending to like it, and with his fake girlfriend Lou, who he wasn't sure if was actually a genius or as dumb as a doornail, even then, he figured a doornail may know how to read a room better.

Rebecca sat with Shelly close to her side, smiling awkwardly, Charlie doing the same. Lou had her arm wrapped around Charlie's, mimicking what Shelly was doing with her girlfriend.

'So, how'd you too meet?' Rebecca asked.

Charlie sighed, wanting to end the charade. 'Listen, Becca. We're not actually-'

Lou stomped the heel of her wedge sandals on Charlie's feet, stopping him in his tracks. 'It's such a romantic story,' she said dreamily, as if it had actually happened.

'But it's very, very long,' Charlie added. 'We don't really have the time-'

'Of course we do,' Shelly said with a devilish grin. 'We have all the time in the world. And I want to hear every, excruciating detail.'

Lou was more than eager to comply. 'It all started on a Sunday, as the most beautiful romances do. I was at church when I saw Charlie, prayin' by himself.'

'I didn't know you went to church, Charlie?' Rebecca said.

'No KIDDING!' Shelly exclaimed with enough sarcasm to make Bill Murray blush. 'It's so UNLIKE Charlie, I almost DON'T believe IT!'

Charlie's lip twitched nervously. 'I am a man of many, um, mysteries.'

'Man?' Shelly said, smiling. 'I thought you wanted to be referred to as a girl?'

'Well, I...'

'It's a figure of speech,' Lou added, saving Charlie's hide. 'Maybe you would know that if you read a library every once in a while.'

Rebecca giggled. Even Charlie had a hard time holding it in. Shelly dismissed Lou and returned to questioning Charlie.

'So, a church girl, huh?' she said, leaning forward. 'I never took you for the type, Charlie.'

'Faith is very important to her,' Lou said, placing her hand on Charlie's leg. 'We take religion VEEEERY seriously.' Maybe that was true for Lou, but for Charlie, he couldn't care less about God, or prayin' (as Lou called it), and definitely not church. And this was for a reason. His family went to church when he was very young. He hated every minute of it, so it was lucky then that he managed to piss off his pastor, getting himself expelled from service. It began as simple, harmless pranks but escalated quickly. He was named the Son of Satan after he threw a water balloon at Pastor Rick during Christmas service. It didn't help that the 'water' balloon wasn't exactly filled with water, but something of Charlie's own devious make. Charlie, being a very small child at the time, would get away with every prank. It was his first serious acting job. All he needed to do to avoid blame was play the victim every time he was accused. This worked wonders, and always ended with his parents taking him to get ice cream, and his pastor being one angry son of a bitch.

And Rebecca knew all of this. So the idea of Charlie suddenly becoming a church lover and dating God's Sweetest Angel herself was hard to believe. Rebecca didn't look convinced, but she looked far from mad. She was enjoying herself, seeing Charlie dig himself into many different holes under Lou's ultra-conservative shovel.

'And every night before dinner, even if it's takeaway like Kentucky Fried Chicken or Burger King or even Wendy's, we thank the Lord Jesus Christ for blessing us with our meal. Charlie always says Grace, my goodness, she loves sayin' Grace. Don't you, honey?'