Drowning Emotions (Isla Series #5)

EPILOGUE

MARCO

I lost count of what chapter we are... but this was not what I expected.

"You can let go now, my love."

Hindi ko nais bitawan ang mga salitang iyon ngunit wala akong magawa kung hindi sabihin iyon sa halip na makita siyang nagdurusa sa kama. Kumapit pa siya ng ilang oras... kaso bumitaw rin.

Twelve seventeen A.M. September seventeen. Ica died... On my birthday.

"Pwede na, Doc." Binuksan ni Gabby ang pinto ng mortuary para makapasok na ako.

I passed through the doors with my system still with coldness, knowing that when I get out of here, I'll be ripped into bits that can never be rebuilt.

For a brief moment, I came to a halt in my tracks to deal with the pain where Fred had shot me. I walked forward slowly, forcing my heart to be brave as I got closer to her and got to the point... where I took off the blanket that was covering her body.

There, I saw her once more close to me... yet so far away. Paler. Lifeless... Completely.

I held her hand so tight, hoping she'll feel my hold on her... My presence... Hoping she'll wake up. I always wish things in my life were real. Except for this. I hoped for this to only be a dream, and I'd wake up tomorrow with her by my side.

"Zy..." I whispered as I slowly fell on my knees, beginning to cry again as I realized this was reality.

Nakasandal lang ang noo ko sa kamay naming dalawa habang umiiyak. Hindi ko tanggap na wala na siya. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko tatanggapin... Kung matatanggap ko ba itong pagbitaw niya sa 'kin. Kasi paano? Isang minuto kasama ko siya, tumatawa... tapos biglang ganito?

Of all the things I could lose... why does it have to be her?

Kinailangan na akong kunin ni Echo dahil ayaw kong umalis doon sa mortuary. I wanted to feel her even for a few more ticks of the clock because I knew I could never do it again. That was the last time I got to hold her in my arms.

Pagkatapak ko palang sa labas, napasuntok ako sa dingding bago napaluhod. My hands were on the floor. I tried to hold back bitter tears and bit my lip until I could taste the metallic taste of blood... But my cries escaped and my tears fell directly on the floor.

I couldn't breathe and had to endure the clenching pain in my chest. I hoped that as I let out my sadness, the pain would subside, but it didn't. It hurt. Twice more than it already was.

She really has a habit of hurting me... even when she's gone.

I knew... I knew someday I'd lose her. I knew that too clearly, but I kept thinking she'd always come back to me. I couldn't hope for that anymore, could I?

"Sumandal ka lang sa 'kin," Echo whispered in a comforting tone, tapping my back.

"Sabi niya walang mangyayaring masama," nahihirapang bulong ko. "Nangako siya na hindi niya ako iiwan... Pero hindi niya tinupad. Nangako siyang pakakasalan niya pa ako... Nangako siya... pero nasaan siya?"

Had I known that everything would come to an end, I would've forgiven her the moment we saw one another again. I wouldn't have put my pride first and thrown sarcastic remarks whenever we bumped into each other anywhere and spilled coffee. I wouldn't have asked for time to build my trust... I wouldn't have taken things slow.

I could've showered her with my affection. I could've slow-danced more with her along to her playlist. I could've spent each passing day watching the sunrise with her, making memories with her, and seeing her smile appear because of the silly things I do. I could've given her more drinks, more dates, more of her favorite lavender roses.