Drowning Emotions (Isla Series #5)

33

"Get up."

Nakadungaw ako kay Marco na siyang malayo ang tingin habang nakaupo sa malamig na sahig ng hospital, nakasandal sa dingding ang likod.

"Hey, lipat ka sa bench."

"I'm sorry..." It was almost a whisper.

I knelt in front of him and held his hand. "I know you cannot do the surgery on our daughter," mahinang sabi ko.

Aqeila survived the accident but her spinal cord got dislocated from the strong impact of the car. She was also having a speech problem... Hindi siya nakakasalita.

Marco, as a neurosurgeon, wanted to operate on her. But doctors have a policy that they cannot operate on a family member. He was in charge of making health-related decisions for Qeila, so he chose Declan, his close friend, to perform the operation instead.

"I'm sorry," he repeated, etched with regret. I realized he was pertaining to something else. I caressed his cheek, making him focus his sad eyes on me.

"Don't blame yourself, love." Walang araw na lumipas na hindi ko dama ang pagsisisi niya. We were already having a hard time. We need each other to lean on at this time of dismay. Blaming each other would only worsen the situation.

He took a deep breath and covered his face using his hands, leaning his head tiredly against the wall. Naupo ako sa tabi niya sa sahig. He gently took my hand in his before beginning to pray under his breath. I joined him.

"Tagal naman." Palakad-lakad na si Marco sa tapat ko habang pinapasadahan ng kamay ang buhok, hindi mapakali. This was the first time he wasn't calm.

"It's been an hour already. We have three hours more. Be patient." Mahina akong tumawa. Four to five hours daw kasi ang operation. Kahit ako, nababagalan sa takbo ng oras at hindi rin mapakali pero pinipilit kong pumirmi sa bench. One of us needed to remain calm.

"Bakit kasi hindi pwede na ako na lang?" He blew some air out. "Hindi ako matahimik dito sa labas. Ganito pala pakiramdam ng pamilya ng pasyente ko."

I was shaken when I saw a tear fall from his eyes in frustration. Faster than lightning, I got to my feet and extended my arms to hug him. I caressed his hair slowly to comfort him.

"Ang baby mo naman," I joked to lighten his mood. He hugged me tighter, chuckling tiredly. We stayed like that for a few minutes. Akala ko nga nakatulog na siya.

"Kape tayo. Pampalipas oras," he invited, letting go of me.

"We can't leave together. Someone needs to stay here. I'll buy na lang."

"Tayo na. Andito naman na si Sir," turo niya sa likuran ko.

"Good afternoon," Dad greeted with a tiny smile that fell short of his eyes. I recall his cries the night he found out Kie had been in an accident. It was more than Marco and I had shed. Kie is really a lolo's girl.

Nagmano si Marco sa kaniya. "Sir, bibili muna kami ng kape. Ninenerbyos na talaga ako rito. Baka mahimatay na ako, eh," he confessed, which made me and dad chortle.

"Sure. I'll wait here. I'll update you if ever the doctor comes out."

"Saglit lang kami, Dad." I guided him to the bench and kissed his cheek before Marco and I stride the empty halls of the hospital, his arm around my shoulder.

Naglakad kami papuntang Tim Horton's. Marco drew a chair for me by the corner table before going to the counter, without asking what I wanted. He already knew my order. I arranged my shades and crossed my arms over my chest as I waited for him. I could sense people looking at me, recognizing me but didn't bother coming near.