Drowning Emotions (Isla Series #5)

35

TW // death

ICA

"Baby, wake up... Huy, gumising ka.. Hindi mo ako pwedeng iwan..."

I could hear his voice.

"Zy, please naman, oh. Huwag kang umalis nang ganito!"

I can hear him beg. Beg the heavens to keep me awake and breathing. Beg everybody to help him. Beg me to stay. Beg me to fight.

"Naririnig mo ba ako? Zy... Huwag mo akong iwan..." The shakiness of his tone assured me he was crying badly. "Nararamdaman mo ba ako? Hawak kita... Hawak ko ang kamay mo, love. Nandito ako..."

But I couldn't feel his touch at all.

I wanted to feel his touch. His presence. I wanted to hold him. I needed to hold him... To hold on.

"Please, Zy. Stay... Please, stay. Please, hold on for me..." He kept repeating those words as if they were a prayer he wished to be heard by the heavens and answered instantly. "You promised you'd stay and live with me... You promised..."

When his voice cracked a little, my heart clenched in agony... But I think it was all my imagination because I couldn't feel anything. Even emotions escaped me. I felt blank. Numb. All of me.

"Huwag mo akong iiwan, ah?" Bumiyak nang tuluyan ang kaniyang boses.

My ears were flooded with the sound of sirens. I tried so hard to open my eyes, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't. I had no idea what was going on around me. I wasn't sure if I was in an ambulance. I couldn't tell where I was lying anymore. In Marquenzo's arms or on the stretcher, as I heard voices overlap each other.

Will I be saved?

All I could do was listen to the noise while something invaded my vision. It was not pitch black... but light. I quickly resist the urge to be completely... gone.

I cannot leave.

I didn't walk into the enticing light that was approaching. I attempted to escape by walking backwards... and backwards... and backwards.... But it was also getting closer by the second.

"Hold on for me." Marco's voice echoed in my ears.

I needed to hold on for him.

"Hold on to me tighter... Do not let go, please," he begged me once more with all his heart.

I cannot let go. He didn't want me to let go.

As the light got closer, I remembered the remnant I made for him a few days before this happened.

"Hi." I smiled genuinely at the camera. Inayos ko ang angulo pero dumirekta ang araw sa mukha ko. Sobrang liwanag kaya nilipat ko sa kung saan mas liblib, pero klaro pa rin ako. "Iyan! Perfect! Okay na!"

Napatitig ako sa camera nang naupo sa kama, hindi makapaniwala sa gagawin ko. Magpapatuloy pa rin ako. It's now or never. I have nothing to lose anyway. It's just a video.

"If you're watching this, most probably... I'm exploring the other end of the world." I spread my arms widely, indicating the end of points. "Or in another universe or lifetime, looking for you, the love of my life... Charot! Napakaano!"

Dumoble ang aking tawa noong naisip kaagad ang reaction niya at pagsabi ng 'corny!' at 'baduy!' Kontrabido iyon sa trip ko minsan, eh!

"I already made a video for you. It's with Manu. But that was before we fixed things, and I had already told you every word I said there, so here I am making another one. A new one. Wishing you'd understand me better... when I'm gone."