Drowning Emotions (Isla Series #5)

12

"Ica, what is this IG story of yours? What happened to your face?! More importantly, where are you?!"

My manager's voice boomed in my ears just as I accepted the call. Tumalon ako pababa ng hood ng kotse at naglakad, takot na marinig ni Maki ang sermon kahit na hindi naman naka loudspeaker iyon.

"Vacation," tipid kong sagot kay Gia.

"Where, Veronica? Hindi ka man lang nagpaalam sa akin! You have an audition tomorrow for a new movie!"

Nagpintig ang tenga ko. "Didn't I tell you that I won't star in a movie for a while? Magbe-break muna ako dahil nahihirapan ako sa law school, 'di ba?" I cut her off, a little mad.

"But this is a big movie, Ica! A big break! And it's not with Aspen because you'll have a different male lead. Sikat. Tutunog lalo ang pangalan mo!" pangungumbinsi niya.

"Ayaw ko nga, Gia. Gusto kong magpahinga. Hindi ko pa gustong tumanggap ng project. I honestly don't care how big this project is, how good the pay is, who's my partner. I don't care about my reputation, you know that," kalmado pero may diin kong sabi.

"Are you planning to be on a hiatus?!" napasigaw siya, halong inis at gulat. "Remember that if you take a long break, you may not be in the same position anymore."

Napasuntok ako sa ere sa inis. "I want to focus on my studies, Gia. Lawyer ang pangarap ko, hindi ang mag-artista. Kung hindi ko lang kailangan ang pera hindi naman ako tutuloy rito. And I won't stop, I will just take a break. To breathe. Why are you not understanding my situation and what I want-" I halted when I felt an arm slid on my waist from behind.

Marco was smiling at me meaningfully. Napakagat ako sa labi ko para pigilan na dugtungan ang rant kay Gia. He knew I wasn't thinking my words right now.

"Sorry. Let's just have a meeting when I get back." I ended the call and removed Marco's arm on my waist before walking back to his car to sit again, thinking.

People always prioritize my career over my wants. I did not choose this life... My dad made it for me. It was laid out in front of me. I managed to live through this career because I thought it'll make him proud, but he basically rubbed it in my face that he wasn't. It made me lose the little drive I have to keep going.

Hindi ako nakaranas ng masayang childhood. I wasn't sheltered by my parents but when it comes to the people helping me rise in my career, they literally took my freedom away. Wala akong kaibigan at ang mga kaharap ko lang ay ang mga scripts ko. Clothes? I have a stylist for that. Maglaro? Hindi pwede. Baka masugatan. Pati pagkain, may listahan.

I was served with everything. It felt light. A life some people might want to have. But it's not easy. Once the spotlight is really directed towards you, you just have to act every minute, fake even your real feelings.

When I built my own dreams, I realized that my life doesn't stop with what they planned out for me. I am my own person. By choosing my own dream, it'll make all my efforts go to waste. But I don't want to live my life thinking of what could have been.

"Ano ang totoong pangarap mo? When you were young, what did you want to be?" I randomly asked Marco who was silent beside me.

"Hmm." Pinagkrus niya ang braso sa harap ng dibdib, bumabaling sa akin. "Hindi ko talaga alam ang gusto ko dati. Muntikan na akong mag business para sundan si Jericho dahil hindi ako sanay na hindi siya kasama. We were classmates since forever." He laughed.

"Businessman." Tumango ako. "Bagay ka naman mag tuxedo. Pwede rin." I showed him my thumbs up. "So bakit biglang doctor?"

"Kaibigan," maikling sagot niya. He looked back in front and swallowed.