Drowning Emotions (Isla Series #5)

13

"It felt nice to say it aloud, but can you forget I said that?"

Regrets washed over me. I'd like to think it was spontaneous. It appears perfect at the time, but once the moment has passed, it is far from it.

"I'm sorry," Marco said lowly, looking afar.

Ngumiti ako nang maliit. "Huwag kang mag-sorry. Hindi mo naman kasalanan na hindi mo ako gusto," sabi ko.

He parted his lips, as if about to say something. But then he gave me a nod and sealed his lip in a thin line, deciding otherwise. Whatever he wanted to say, I suppose it was best if he didn't say it.

The next day, we had a picnic by the beach as per Tita Amara's request since uuwi na kami nila Marco bukas ng hapon.

I was putting marshmallows on the barbeque sticks but my eyes were focused on Marco, watching him tease his sister about a crush or something as they fanned the barbeque. Pikon si San kaya naman madaling nagtatagumpay ang kuya niya.

"Ito na! Titigil na!" Hinila ni Marco ang kapatid at pinagkukurot sa pisngi. Humagikgik si San nang humalik 'to sa pisngi niya. "Love you," panglalambing niya. Cute naman ng kuya na 'to!

"Yuck!" Hinimas kaagad ni San ang braso niya. "Geez! Kilabot everywhere, Kuya! Si Ate Ica na lang sabihan mo niyan!" Tawang-tawa siya.

Nanlaki ang mata ko at nalaglag ang panga, nabitawan ang marshmallow. Mahal ko itong kapatid ni Marco pero... what the hell?!

"Marshmallow!" Leil got the marshmallow on the banig and ate it.

Maki and I exchanged stares. His gaze remained in my eyes for a long time, as if he was diving into the deep wonders of it until he got lost and needed to swim up to save himself from drowning.

"You guys fought?" Ares got my attention. Nagbibiyak siya ng buko sa tabi ko.

"No. Why?" nagtatakang tanong ko. Mukha ba kaming nag-away?

He shrugged. "Tahimik n'yo, eh. Hindi ako sanay. Something happened? Feel ko may sinabi ka. Feel ko lang. Hindi ko sure."

"Manghuhula ka or in-born chismoso, Ares? Magputol ka na nga ng buko diyan!" Nagtawanan kami nang hinampas ko siya. Agad niyang inangat ang braso niya para umilag.

Totoo naman na hindi kami nag-away ni Marco at totoo ring may sinabi ako. My embarrassment was manageable. I know that once we start talking, I'll be able to get rid of the nagging feeling in my chest.

Some brands and auditions turned me down in the beginning years of my career because other artists outperformed me. I've also had my academic work rejected, like my thesis. When I was younger, I was also rejected by crushes. Technically, I was used to rejections, so last night was no big deal.

To live through the worse, you shouldn't take everything by heart.

After eating, I played with Leil. She was such a cutie! "It's alright! Hindi naman masakit!" Mabilis ko siyang tinayo nang natapilok siya sa buhanginan, naiiyak kaagad. "Nasaan ang nanakit? Dali, paluin natin!"

"Iyon!" Tinuro niya ang buhangin. Para akong tanga na pinalo ang buhangin para matuwa siya.

Nakita ko si Marco na nakaupo sa tapat namin at pinapanuod kami. Nakapatong ang isang braso niya sa nakataas niyang binti. He had no shirt on, his hair was messy and wet since he took a dip in the ocean.

His gaze was intense, which felt like it was undressing me with each passing second. I continued playing habol-habolan with Leil to distract myself. Bakit naman kasi siya ganoon makatingin?!