Meet Me in the Hallway (HS AU)

sixty seven.

His words continued to float around in my head as I sat at the dining table. Clem was hurrying around and cleaning all the blood from Michael's skin, Harry was scrubbing the blood from Michaels clothes in the kitchen sink and I sat at the table like a pathetically broken mess.

I knew Will was going to do something like this, this is exactly what I was trying to avoid by warning Ella of his danger. As much as I had tried to convince myself I did everything I could to protect her, there was still an overwhelming feeling of guilt sitting heavy in my chest.

Michael hadn't said anything else after his statement in the doorway. We had escorted him to our room, quickly got him into some of Harry's older clothes before moving to the kitchen. He sat at the table beside me and hadn't moved since.

His eyes were locked on me though, like he was trying to communicate how he was feeling but didn't want to verbalise it. Occasionally his lips would part like he was going to say something but then he would stop himself. In a moment of impulse, I reached towards him and grabbed his hands. I gave them a gentle squeeze and it was as if that one action opened the floodgates for Michael.

"I'm really sorry, Josephine." His voice was shaky as he let out the sobs he had been holding in.

His echoing cries caught the attention of Clem and Harry, causing them to snap their heads in our direction but both of them knew better than to approach. With each cry that shook his body, he leant closer to me until his forehead was resting on my shoulder. I moved one of my hands off of his and placed it on his back and rubbed soothing circles on it.

"You have nothing to apologise for, Michael. Take some breaths okay?"

His head shook violently against my shoulder, "No, I am so sorry. Ella called me and told me about the chat you had with her and I just agreed with her when she said you were lying. I didn't believe you and I should have. I should have told her to listen and then she would have been safe."

I held him tighter but said nothing, he wasn't finished and I didn't want to interrupt his train of thought. While he was talking, he wasn't slipping so I was going to listen.

"S-so when she called me tonight and said that he had hit her, it was my fault. I could have stopped her from being with him but I didn't. Instead I sat there and said yes to whatever she said, it's all my fault."

Clem started to step cautiously towards us but I shook my head at her, he was still sobbing into my shoulder and I didn't want to disturb him.

"As soon as she called me I drove to his house and I just couldn't stop. But as soon as I did, I didn't know where to go. I'm sorry for coming here but I didn't know where else to go, I'm sorry."

I glanced towards Harry who was wiping tears from under his eyes. Michael was one of his best friends and seeing him so distraught must have been upsetting him. Clem was also looking emotional but she was covering it well. With past trauma resurfacing and the confirmation that her best friend had suffered the same fate, I would have been in pieces but she was being so strong.

"It's ok, Michael. You were so brave. Where is Ella right now? I bet she's safe now, I know you would have made sure of it." I whispered the words into his ear, being careful not to startle him.

"I told her to go to Mum's, followed her in my car so I knew she got there safely. I made sure she was in the door before I drove away, I promise." His head snapped out of my shoulder to ensure I listened to his last sentence.

It was clear he felt such a deep level of guilt, one that battled for first place with mine. He wanted me to understand that he took every precaution when getting her to a safe house.

We sat in silence once again. It's amazing how often I found myself in these situations, situations where everyone was too afraid to talk at the risk of breaking another. It couldn't be a coincidence that these situations were typically centred around me or my existence. If I hadn't become part of this group, Ella would never have been with Will and thus would never have been hurt.

Michael was exhausted and we ended up convincing him to sleep in the spare room for a bit, even if it was just a nap, he definitely needed it. As soon as we had left him in the bedroom and made our way back out to the living room, there was an eerie stillness about the house.

Knowing exactly what Will is like, I just know he will do whatever he can to make sure Michael gets in a lot of trouble. I think Michael knew that too but I don't think he cared. He beat the fuck out of the guy that dared to lay hands on his sister and I wouldn't picture him regretting it.

I had noticed Harry holding Clem for a while as tears fell silently down his face, knowing exactly how Michael felt but still carrying the guilt of not being able to protect Clem. He held her tighter than usual before telling her she should stay at Adrians tonight.

Adrian's voice was clear even from the other side of the living room, his voice boomed through Clem's phone as he asked her 'are you ok' and 'I'll kill him'. In no time at all, he pulled up out the front of Harry's house and took Clem. If Will was going to try anything, it was going to be on Michael or myself so removing Clem from the equation made sense.

"Harry, I'm so-"

"Stop." He shook his head at me, his eyes held no emotion and that made me incredibly nervous. Was this the final straw, the final event that made him realise just how dangerous I was?

"I know you're going to apologise and I'm not going to let you because you did nothing wrong. You did all the right things, okay? You warned her and that was all you could do. You are not accountable for fuckface's actions, you didn't tell him to hit her."

And that's when I lost it.

The years of being terrified of others seeing my tears felt like a distant memory as I let out every tear I had ever held in. Harry wrapped me up in his arms as I cried into his chest, his words were what I had been dying to hear for four years. That I wasn't responsible for what he did and that it wasn't my fault. Except this time I was responsible, I could have stopped this one.

"But it's my fault. He told m-me, he told me he would 'remove one of us' if I tried to warn her again and I kept that a secret. I didn't tell you about the supermarket and that could have stopped her from ever having to experience this. It's my fault, it's my fault."

The three words that plague my existence were 'it's my fault'. Occasionally the 'my' was swapped for a 'your' and I was on the receiving end of the statement. This time the words really dug into my skin, like someone had taken to my skin with a hot knife and carved them into it.

So I cried and I cried until my head was pounding, throat was sore and face was puffy. I cried until I couldn't cry anymore and then some. I cried until I decided I needed to stop.
Wiping my tears away, I looked Harry in the eyes.

"He's going to pay for this."