MARBLE & SALT (Lesbian)

Chapter 23 (Part 1) WHEN THE CLOSET IS TOO DARK, AND IT'S SO HARD TO COME OUT

I fell asleep in Hebe's bed.

I didn't know what was killing me more that night: the realization that Hebe, not on purpose, could have been the indirect reason of Marilag's death; or the fact that I saw her with another woman even though many years ago.

Jealousy, jealousy, jealousy, ahhh!

How long have they not seen each other? Seventeen years? Less? Now it's clear why Amihan and Hebe didn't want to talk to each other!

Hebe was so angry that day; she wanted to get rid of that drama situation as soon as possible. Guilt? It was hard to say exactly...

Hebe tried to find out what I had seen, but I was not in a mood to discuss the past.

Hebe was very quiet and courteous. She did not joke, did not flirt, but on the contrary, was gallant and gentle.

"Do you mind if we spend the night at the residence, I mean, at the residence headquarters? Izba is far from where we are now. Your chambers are ready in my and mama's mansion, but... I don't want to talk to her tonight, if you don't mind, of course. If you want to go there, it's great too! Of course, yeah, they are much better than your dull room in headquarters, and..."

"It's okay, Hebe," I said tiredly. "It's okay..."

"How are you?" she tried to touch my shoulder, but I started.

"I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm good. I'm just tired."

"Are you sure?" She sadly pulled her hand back from my trembling shoulder. "May I take you in my arms?"

"Next time, please..."

She nods sadly.

***

When we entered the building, I was confused. The residence was empty. All the witches had dispersed. The building was plunged into darkness. If not for the old lamps and blue magical flickers, the residence would seem like an ominous Gothic mansion.

I gasped, jumping back from what seemed to me a huge clawed hand.

"What's happened?" asked Hebe with a startled voice. She hastily hugged me, and I almost burst into tears from how stupid I looked: the clawed hand turned out to be a shadow from the branches of tall trees that grew in the inner garden of the residence.

"Hebe... Could you walk me to my..." I forgot that word again,"...bedchamber? I'm afraid I would not be able to find the way on my own."I was ashamed to ask her about it as if I could not do anything myself.

"Let's go to my room maybe? There's a better mattress and... nicer pillows." Hebe couldn't find any better reason. She rubbed her black eyebrow in the very spot where she used to have a piercing.

I sighed and nodded.

***

Two lost lights were floating in the room when we entered. But the darkness was disturbed not only by their blue presence: the amber fire quietly lived in the European fireplace.

I used her restroom to pee. When I came back, the witch changed her wet clothes, and she was obediently sitting on the edge of her own bed as if waiting my permission for her to lay down.

I blushed, but my heart sank. To tell the truth, I was already calming down a little: everything that I saw was in the past: I had to accept the fact that seventeen years was a long period of time. Whatever she had done, it couldn't be fixed; Marilag couldn't be resurrected, and as for Hebe's affair with Amihan... I should get used to the fact that Hebe had a vigorous sexual past, unlike me, correction, I didn't have any private life; there had been no sexual past at all before her... and nothing to be proud of.

"Can I get you some nightwear?" Hebe asked softly, gently fixing her dark, shoulder length hair.

I tossed my head "no" and just kicked off my wet dress right in front of her, quickly rolling myself into a blanket, and then I finally shut my eyes tightly.

The light in the fireplace instantly went out as if someone had switched it off.

"May I lie with you?" the witch asked somehow gingerly and mega apologetically.

Her personal life before our acquaintance should not concern me; it was my own choice to stay with her... But Marilag, poor Marilag! Why didn't Hebe say anything?! Not a single word! Maybe Hebe didn't know anything about Marilag... Impossible, someone on the island would have told her about her death long ago. Kidlat was probably one or two years old... Hebe's father might not have been interested in the life of the island or just not into spreading gossips to his witch daughter. Did it mean that Hebe hadn't talked to Amihan since their last night after the party?

I shrugged my shoulders and turned from her as if ready to fall asleep. I took the blanket to myself: I didn't want her to see me naked or touch my bare skin: I was too sensitive, to electrified...

She perched next to me but didn't dare to touch, "Your parents are expecting us tomorrow at fourteen*. You will have time to sleep enough. All documents, passports, and the plane tickets are ready. They will not suspect anything. We will collect your necessary things... I will finally meet your parents. I asked the witch assistants to call and say using your voice that you are coming with a friend from St. Petersburg who is also going to study with you. They will not accompany you and me to the airport later: as they will be sure that my parents will give us a lift. If you don't mind this."

I didn't mind; I was simply laying there in silence. No one in their right mind would buy such nonsense, especially my mama, but magic is a hard thing to resist.

Hebe moved closer. She pinched the blanket behind my back leaning her forehead between my shoulder blades. So that was how we fell asleep.

All night I was watching a dream about my Hebe asking me to make a choice over and over again. Dasha and Danya were tied on the floor, but I paid no attention to them, but tried to peer into the marble eyes of my princess... Something was strange...

We both woke up in a cold sweat, as if we had the same dream. Hebe started to cry softly; trembling we embraced each other. Slowly we began to calm down, lulling from the touch and breath of each other. The rest of the night we did not let go of each other, as if frightened to get lost in the nightmares and ghosts of the past and future.

* 24h is used in some post Soviet countries