𝑷𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒐𝒎-𝒀𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒏𝒂 𝑩𝒆𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒂

𝑩𝒆𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒚𝒂𝒍

As Astrid teleports back to her house she sprints to her bedroom. She rips off her mothers old shield uniform and hops into the shower. Dust and grime trickles down the shower drain. 

Getting out of the shower she looks at herself in the mirror. Astrids damp, dyed dark red hair sticks to her neck and her eyes are puffy from tears that can't seem to stop escaping. She changes into a baggy sweater and leggings.

The young woman slips into the sheets of her bed as sobs rack through her body. 

I hate him. I hate him. I hate him.

Astrid weeps as thinks of  the words that Clint said to her. The two sentences that had cut deeper than any knife. 

"We are not partners. We never were."

Clint said he would protect her from her father and said he wouldn't let Mark hurt her anymore. Though he said he would protect her, Clint did the opposite. He was the one to deliver the blows. He was the one that betrayed her. He is the traitor. 

Fuck him. 

Fuck everyone. 

She stares at the knife on her nightstand wondering what it would feel like to drag it across her wrist. Astrid had many near death experiences so how could killing herself be any different? It could be done quickly. It could be peaceful and it would be at her own hands. 

Her fathers words repeat themselves in her head. 

"You deserve to die."

"Your a freak." 

"You killed your mother."

Astrid clutches her head in pain, "No. no. no. Dad's wrong."

The urge becomes stronger, and harder to resist. She grabs the knife.

Think of Kate. She wouldn't want you to do this. 

She wouldn't care. 

Mark wants you to die. 

Clint would be happy if you were finally gone from his life.

YOU ARE A BURDEN.  

"NO! SHUT UP." Astrid screams at the voices in her head.  She throws the knife across the room and the blade clatters against the ground. 

This is his fault.

No. It's mine.

Astrid had willingly let Clint into her life. She let him become her friend. She let him become her family only after days of knowing him. The girl put her trust in him when in reality she should have pushed him away, or at least that's what she thinks.

...

Clint doesn't go back to Astrids apartment. He can't bare looking at the heartbroken girls face. Instead he goes to Grills, one of the LARPers apartments. The archer presses the door bell, causing a loud buzz.

"Hello?" Grills answers the door bell through the intercom. The familiar dog barks as well.  

"Hey, Grills, it's Clint. Can I come up?" His voice is filled with sadness and guilt. 

"Oh, my God, yeah, yeah, come up." Grills invites him. "I've been thinkin' about a name..."  he references to the dog before he takes in the sorrowful look on the Avengers face, "You good?" 

"No... I really messed up." Clint sighs as he rubs the back of his neck. 

"How so?" Grills ask as Barton sits on the couch. 

"I pushed Kate and Astrid away." Clint tells the LARPer the short version. He spares the details of the assassin. 

"What?!" Grills exclaims.

"I-I just... I did it to protect them." Clint makes up an excuse. He knows it doesn't justify the fact that he hurt them but he claims he did it for a good reason. 

"Protect them, or yourself?" Grills questions the Avenger.

"They are just a couple of kids playing dress up." Clint exasperates, "They don't know what it cost for this life."

The life of an Avenger had cost Clint many friends. Two being Natasha and Tony. His heart still aches from when they passed away. 

"Can kids playing dress up take down mob members?" The LARPer counters Clint's excuses. 

"-No."

"They are not just kids Clint." Grills states as the dog sits in his lap.

"I can't protect them." Clint sighs as he remembers the events on the rooftop. Astrid falling from the building. She could have died. 

"But you can guide them." Grills advises, "You can be their teacher." 

Barton cringes as he remembers his past partner Natasha Romanoff. His best friend. His family. She had sacrificed herself for the soul-stone.  

"I can't." Clint utters on the couch. He rubs his chin excessively. The archer switches the conversation to an easier topic, "You think you could, um, look after the dog just for a few more days?" 

The dog on whines as he is mentioned. 

"Sure." Grills says. 

"I, I got a hotel, and they don't have... They don't allow dogs." Clint mentions as to why he can't watch the dog. 

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. Hotel?" He ask.  

"Yeah, it's just, uh... " Clint tries to remember the name of the hotel but his mind becomes blank. Ever since he pushed the two girls away, they have consumed his thoughts. 

"No way. Hawkeye's gonna stay in a hotel for Christmas? Man, take my couch. Really, take my bed." Grills begs the Avenger. 

Clint looks at him gratefully, "The couch will be great, thank you."

"Here, bro." Grills hands him a package with a ribbons on it, "Almost forgot. Missy dropped off the new outfits for you and the girls. You wanna see 'em?"

" You know I do. Just..." Barton breathes deeply, "Just not right now."

"Okay, but just think about it man. Those kids need you." 

...

A/N: This is a short chapter but the next will have lots of Astrid and Yelena in it! Please leave a vote if you enjoyed!