MAKE ME FEEL (YiZhan)(Completed)

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Cheng rushes into hospital with Haikuan and asks for Zhan's ward number right away. noticing police officers guarding there, he shivers with fear and quickly enters the ward. Zhan is laying on the bed, still wearing his clothes and looks towards window. unable to hold his anger Cheng suddenly grabs his collar and Zhan whimpers from pain when his face is punched. realizing it's his best friend, Zhan's eyes widens with surprise and pouts

"I'm already hurt here you know? what is wrong with you Cheng?"

"what is wrong with me? you ask what is wrong with me?" Cheng yells and falls down on the chair, trying to catch the breath "I thought you're staying at home and mourning your lost love and here, you're having fun and taking drugs"

"what the hell are you talking about? what drugs Cheng"

"then why are policemen here? they said you got into serious trouble"

"I was just fighting with some asshole, nothing more. it was just wrong timing, guess someone was selling drugs there and that is why police came"

"so you didn't" Cheng sighs loudly from relief and holds his hands, Zhan gasps when tears falls on them and hesitantly pets his hair "I'm so happy you didn't"

"Cheng come on, you're making me cry too. were you worrying this much?"

"My life is hard enough already, why...why I should be your babysitter?"

"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry"

"sorry...it would be awesome if we can live without necessity to say this word. to live without hurting others"

"don't you live so brother?"

"Zhan actually..." Cheng stops like making decision and rolls his sleeves up, moving hand forward "you're always teasing me for wearing long sleeved shirts even in the summer. Here, this is the reason" Zhan looks down at his track marks and then moves stare to Cheng again

"Don't tell me..."

"Right, I was drug user before. it was so long time ago but my huge sin still hunts me Zhan. I..." Cheng tries to stop his shaking hands and sobs out "I killed someone"

"you're kidding right?"

"You're often asking me, why I was still standing next to you although your bad behaviors, why I still loved and cared about you. Because I was worse than you Zhan, because I wanted to keep you next to me and protect you from doing the same. Left alone, without any friends and supporters...I experienced it all. I don't want same fate for you, life with instant regret and pain"

"How come you did never" Zhan cups Cheng's face and wipes his tears away "I always knew you had some trauma but never tried to make you share it. So selfish, I was always too selfish"

"Wrong, since the beginning you're very good friend for me. silence was my choice Zhan, I always knew you could listen. think it's right time now" Zhan nods and Cheng deeply breaths in before starting "I'm only son of quite rich family, as saying I was born with silver spoon in my mouth. I had absolutely everything, others only can dream about and you know? this is worst thing ever. as long as we still have something desirable life remains interesting and enjoyable but being too spoiled leads us to wrong path. feeling too bored by my daily routine I didn't hesitate at all, when friend offered cocaine to me. I was about 18 years old then and thought I could control absolutely everything but I became slave, weak and disgusting one. remembering that time...I would gladly kill myself"