Rivals

• Chapter Twelve • Jimin POV

I stare helplessly at the clock as if it's going to somehow turn back time. Sadly it continues to click forward and all of my past mistakes are still lingering.

It's almost 3am now...and I can't take back my actions from tonight no matter how hard I try.

I close my eyes, picturing it and wondering why I allowed myself to go there again when I knew I'd just end up reliving it all over.

I'm a failure.

"You good?" A voice to my left says and I nod at the male who's eyes are barely open. He chuckles at me, patting my shoulder as he gathers the evidence up. "Let me know if you need more."

I don't say anything.

Neither does he.

I feel the euphoria still soaring through my body but this time I'm still mentally aware of my pain.

I guess I built up a tolerance.

I exhale, pulling my phone out of my pocket and scroll until I find her icon and I call.

"Hey, you've reached-" I hang up. What's the point if she doesn't answer? I close my eyes and picture the look of disappointment she gave me that day.

I'd be disappointed too.

My eyes shoot open when my phone starts ringing in my hand. My heart drops.

It's her....

"Hello?.." I clear my throat.

"Jimin?" The soft voice flows through my ears and my heart's instantly calmed.

"Hey...I'm sorry I called you so late.."

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah....well...no..." I sigh. "I know you said you'd never help me if I did it again but..."

"You used again?..." The tone falls and I know I've broken her heart again.

"...I'm sorry...I just don't know who else to call..."

"I'm glad you called. It means you're wanting help going through withdrawals and not to keep using anymore."

I feel a year hit my cheek. "I love you, mom."

"I love you too, honey. I'll be right over."

I'm so thankful she is patient with me despite everything I've done wrong. She never judges me...but hurting her is the worst thing I do.

It isn't twenty minutes later and she's at my door. Her face is saddened when I answer the door but she softly smiles anyway to put me at ease.

She's thoughtful like that.

"Are you hungry? I brought you some things." she lifts a bag of home cooked meals she probably already had put back. I shake my head. "I'll warm some up on the stove." She ignores my lie.

"How's Hyunbin?" I ask.

"He's good. The firm is doing well so he's working a lot. How's Y/N?"

I keep silent and she turns towards me. We haven't talked since before our break up. I guess I should come clean. "We broke up."

"Ahh...I see. I'm sorry to hear that."

"The last time you helped ween me off drugs is right after she left...I just didn't tell you."

Her face stays in that disappointed glare. "I liked her for you. She had that same passion for music you did. She supported you. Why did you let those stupid drugs turn you into what it did, Jimin?"

"I know I made mistakes...I'm trying..."

"So she's gone? What about your band?"

"We got a new guitarist. He's pretty good."

She sarcastically smiles. "PRETTY good?"

I chuckle lightly. "He's great."

"Your fans didn't turn on you for replacing her?" She hands me a bowl of hot stew. "it seemed like they loved her as much as they did you."

"Some did but that's to be expected." I blow on the steam.

"You're lucky it didn't spark a rivalry."

"It did. I mean, it's not true but the internet is eating it up."

Mom sits across from me glancing up at the clock that says almost 4am. She sighs. "Well, I suppose waking me up this early was for a good cause. So tell me about the new boy."

I nod, putting some stew into my mouth. "Well..."