Rivals

° Chapter Thirty ° Jungkook POV

I know it's stupid but part of me thinks she feels the same way. I should focus on the show.

I can't.

All I can think about is her. I've studied her long enough to know her every finger movement when she plays. I was set up to be obsessed with her.

I sound crazy.

Maybe I am.

"You ready?" Tae asks and I nod grabbing my last few things when I see the paper I had been writing on.

"Tae...what are the odds you'd sing a song I wrote?"

"Depends, is it good?"

I nod. "Good enough to please a crowd. It's our last show before battle of the bands so if it doesn't do well we can change it."

"Let me see it." He reaches out his hand and I watch his reaction. "I wanna?" He questions.

"You don't have to-"

"I like this." He says. I smile a bit but it quickly falters by the look on his face. "You know what you're doing, right? I don't have to say it out loud?"

"What do you mean?" I pretend to be oblivious which only makes him roll his eyes at my attempt. He knows I'm bluffing.

"I'm not naive. I know exactly what you're doing. You're not the first person to write her a song."

I scratch the back of my head anxiously. I don't understand it myself. It's like there's a pheromone or magic power that draws you in. It's the way she carries herself.

I get lost in her.

"It's just a crush." I admit. "When someone tells you something's bad for you it makes you want it more. I think that's why I feel like this."

"What do you expect to come out of this? Do you think just because Jimin's out of the picture temporarily that she's going to like you back? She uses people. She'll do the same to you."

I scowl. "What is everyone's grudge against her? Jimin was the one on drugs and pulling the band down. She is never would have sabotaged you the way he has!"

He smiles ironically at me making me believe he has plenty to say about her. "Believe it or not, he's not the only one who did wrong. When I've told you there's more to the story, there's more."

"Then fucking tell me it already! Why the secrecy?"

"I started the band. Back in the beginning me and Namjoon went to high school together and we scouted for other members to join and that's how we met Y/N and Jimin." He looks at me seriously almost as if he himself didn't want to say the rest. "Y/N and I had a thing. Briefly, just a few months before she joined. Jimin never knew about it."

"She cheated on Jimin?"

"No, I met her at a bar. We hooked up a few times before I met Jimin. When he brought her in as the guitarist we were both shocked. Me especially since they were a couple."

My eyes squinch trying to sort it out. "So....Jimin started dating her and then recommended her to be your guitarist? And you didn't know she played?"

He shakes his head. "She never mentioned it. Not once. To be fair I didn't go into depth about our band either, we didn't have all the members so as far as she knew I was just a guy in a bar and she was just a girl."

"So Jimin doesn't know at all?"

"No....when they broke up, we took the opportunity to get rid of her and keep the band in tact. Honestly at that time Jimin was the main thing keeping us afloat publicity wise. Y/N was just a sound. If we lost Jimin....we were fucked."

"But we have? Haven't we? Now you're out both of them."

He nods slowly. "Yeah...I guess we are."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"I actually want you to stay in the band. I think you are the right fit and you're so talented, dude. Honestly. I just don't want you to get involved and everything and then find out more about her past and hold a grudge."

"I don't care what any of you have done." I shrug. "You think I'm perfect? I used sex as a void filler. I've spent my entire adult life fucking instead of feeling. For once I'm actually allowing myself to feel something...for someone else. It's scary as hell. So to me...whatever she's done...whatever you've done means nothing to me."

"You're cool, Kook." He smiles. "Guess I gotta sing you're stupid song."

"You said you liked it!" I shove and he shoves back playfully.

"I said I liked it, not that it wasn't stupid."