t h i r t y ~ n i n e

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(unedited, will be mistakes sry)
Olivia



The doors let a cold breeze in as they close and it rolls across the skin of my neck, lifting goosebumps as it goes. I pull Rowan's jacket tighter to me as I shiver. "The cars better warm up fast or I'm going to lose it," I complain to Maria, watching our boyfriends slide into the vehicles layered with a thin dusting of snow.

Why did it have to start snowing again while we were skating?

Screw Bronson and Evan, speeding off the moment they hopped in their car. I hope they both get colds.

Maria puffs out a laugh and we lean on each other, taking advantage of the warmth of another human. Doesn't help that this bench is ice cold beneath our butts, so much for staying inside to avoid the cold a little while longer.

"You want to come over? We can have a girls night like old times," Maria mumbles, her soft voice tilting with an expectant tone that almost makes her sound wary.

My muscles start to go tense and a guilt ridden dread fills my hallow gut. I hate that I'm reacting this way at the thought of going over to her house. I loved spending time with Maria more than anything ever since we met but things have changed and that sucks.

I swallow thickly, forcing the words out as I watch my hands fiddle in my lap, "I-I don't know if I can. Maria, I--"

"You don't have to say it," she interrupts, her voice shaky.

I lean off of her, looking at her face and hating what I see. She flicks her gaze to me for a split second then sputters a laugh humorlessly, "I know okay...about how you feel about Talia."

My stomach rolls and she continues, "Yes, she's my family but I'm well aware about the wreckage she leaves in her wake wherever she goes." Her hands grip her legs just above her knees and she takes a deep breath, "I thought...I hoped she changed. It's been years since I last saw her in my hometown and I hoped it would be different this time but maybe she got worse. She craves attention...good or bad. She likes to leave lasting impressions on people so she creates as much turmoil as she can. When I started to notice it, it was too late. I'm sorry."

She ends with tears sliding down her olive cheeks and the sight is so heartbreaking my chest clenches and my throat squeezes tight like a fist is wrapped around it, daring me to try and lie to make her feel better.

She doesn't need bitter sweet lies for comfort. She needs the truth because that's who she is. Maria Vincent doesn't want her feelings spared at the cost of being lied to so I won't.

I place my clammy, trembling hand atop hers, a tight grip around her fingers, "It isn't your fault. I'm not going to blame you for giving the benefit of the doubt to your family, to someone you love despite her flaws. I mean...you love me and I'm as frustratingly self-destructive as they come," I try a short laugh to ease the mood but it only half works, a pained smile pulling her rosy lips. I lower my head to watch my thumb move over her skin, "I just can't...not while she lives with you. I can't deal with her passive aggressive jabs anymore. Not after what she tried to do on Halloween. I want to stay in my blissed out happiness bubble just a little while longer without her trying to pop it."

Maria nods, her hand flipping to grip mine. She looks at me, her pained smile turning more genuine.

I narrow my eyes at her and she chuckles softly, the sound like a warm blanket to my anxious heart. I can still sense a bit of tension so I don't relax completely as I watch her cautiously, "It's a good thing that she doesn't live with me anymore then, huh?"

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