Melody - JATP x Soulmate AU

Chapter 5

It didn't work.

I was right in thinking that Mrs. Harrison wouldn't allow me in, and with another student coming to replace my spot, there's nothing I can do until next semester. Flynn wasn't pleased, but she had to stop fighting it when our classes—neither one of us having music—started.

"Julie, you have to do something," Flynn rationalizes as I'm about to step into my first class of the day.

"Flynn, now is not the time to think about it." Needless to say, she doesn't drop things quickly. Not if she really wants it.

"Oh, don't think we're not talking about this later." Dang. I need to just get it off my mind right now. This is what my soulmate diary is for. To get my mind off of everything and just act like I'm talking to the one person in the world who gets me.

The one person I don't know if I'll ever find.

The rest of the school day passes quickly, with boring class after boring class, and soon it's over. I have plenty of homework between my six classes, but that's nothing new. It's always a couple hours each school night and four hours each weekend.

Hi again,

My plan to get back into the music program failed. Unfortunately, there's a new student starting tomorrow and I have no idea what I'm going to do. I finally got myself out of my funk (is that even the right word??) and played the piano and sang again. It was amazing, freeing, and I wish I could have played yesterday and stayed in the music program, but I couldn't.

I wish I could set back the clock
Redo my entire yesterday
There are a million things in lock
But I wish there was a way
To say I wanted to stay

Turn back time
Make everything I wanted
Become mine
But every time I try to turn around
I wonder how it's all fallen down
And I always wish
I could turn back time

That's a little something. The first time I've written a song in a year. It makes me so happy to know that I still have that spark somewhere inside of me. I know you didn't ever see me during the year after I lost my mom, but I finally feel like I can remember my mom without crying.

I wish I could meet you.

Closing the book before anyone—anyone being Carlos or Dad or the guys now living in my mother's studio—sees it, I set it back on the shelf, right alongside the other three.

"Mom, I miss you." Brushing the spines of the books, I feel a small tinge of sadness but mostly happiness at the memories of how mom would tell me everything she would put into her books. Not the exact things she'd say, but she'd whisper to me that she promised me she was putting something into her book.

Like when I first learned how to ride a bike, she whispered, "Hey, Julie. You know those books I keep writing in? That's going in there, too. I'm so proud of you." I didn't even know what they were for at the time, but I was so proud of myself for doing it and knowing that it was being written in something so important to her.

"So, what are those?" Goodness, Luke. Didn't I mention that my room was off-limits already?

"Boundaries!" Shooing him out of my room, the moment I lay on my bed, he's back. Don't guys listen? At all? Or is that one of those things guys never do? "Luke!"

"What's in the books?" It's not like I can just tell him. They're mine. And they're personal.

"Nothing." He seems unfazed by my answer.

"It doesn't seem like..." No. I'm not telling you.

"If you read them, I will break you. And that includes Alex and Reggie." He just shrugs with a goofy smile.