One too many

Part 1

My name is Stark, my mother named me after her favourite character in her favourite book. I used to love my name, when I was younger, for the character Stark in the book was fearless, strong, beautiful and powerful. I wanted to be just like her and I told my mother that every day.

When I was younger I did not have many things to make me feel happy or safe but that book took me to a better place, a place I could escape to. My father said he loved my mother very much but his action did not show that. He never hit her but he screamed at her every day and called her awful names. My mother had no family except me and my father. When my mother was nine all her family died when their house burnt down. The only reason she lived is that a witch called Asa rescued her from the fire. My mother loved my father very much, why she did I will never understand. As I grew older I began to understand that my fathers behaviour was not normal and other fathers did not treat their wives like my father treated my mother.

When I was twelve I walked in on my father with another male. I was shocked and so very angry at him. He told me he only slept with men because he loved my mother too much to sleep with a woman. He also told me that if I were to tell my mother this she would go crazy and I knew he was right so I became a part of the disease and lied to my mother. I had never liked my father very much and his betrayal to my mother was enough for me to never feel any warm feelings about him again. I was not a stupid child and I knew more about sex than my parents thought I did. I knew my father was likely gay but I just could not figure out why he would marry my mother. In our world love is love no matter who your love it just does not matter. The world has been so for at least 20.000 years, I came to the conclusion that my father just was an asshole that was the only reason that made any sense to me. As the months grew by my father became sloppier hiding his lovers from me and unfortunately my mother. I knew it was only a matter of time till she would find out.

One cold winter night that time finally came, my mother walked in on him and she was never the same. She did not cry, she felt so much pain that she hid herself deep within herself and that is what she did for two years. For two years she did not speak, I took care of her as she was my child, I had to do everything for her. He broke her into millions pieces and I knew I could never glue her back together.

On her last day on earth she finally spoke to me and asked me to swallow a black pill, I did as she asked and I was thankful that nothing happened but something had changed within my body without me knowing. My mother told me about her best friend, Her name was Asa, they had not talked since she married my father. My mother told me that Asa had given her this pill and she tried to get her to swallow it so she would not bare a child with my father. Apparently this is a magic pill that prevents you from getting pregnant until you want to, you can deactivate it or reactivate it whenever you'd like you just had to say the right sentences three times in a row, I found the magic sentence very amusing and could not help to chuckle. What kind of witch makes the magic sentence be I think I have fungus in my ass, She must be a very funny lady but still I have to say this sentence out load, I would just kill myself if anyone were to hear me. The only good thing about it is that I will never forget the magic sentence.

My mother made me promise not to tell my future husband about this and never have children unless I am sure he is worthy of me. She said love is blind but still you can choose your own path and even though love is blind it is not marked for only one person. She told me I could love many people throughout my life I just had to be open to it. I can understand her for she is only trying to protect me. It is hard to sire a child, not many females are fertile, that is the only reason why my father did marry my mother. My mother told me that when my father was young he helped a witch. The witch told him that my mother was indeed a fertile female. I know my father would have asked for another prize but you do not get to choose what a higher being gives you for a reward, still this was good for him since you are likelier to get a better job if you have a fertile female. Why I do not know I can not understand how this could remotely make him better at his job. As to how my mother knows how I am fertile she does not but still she does not want to leave it up to chance she says. She made me say the magic sentence so i can not have children unless I say out load Thank god I do not have fungus in my ass anymore.

The next day my mother left me for good, she took her own life, she told me that love was not marked for just one person why could she not follow her own advice, I was so sad but still I knew the reason why, all her pieces were broken and could not be glued back together. I too was broken but my pieces could be mended with love and care.