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I was handed the envelope backstage and told to read from the teleprompter-word for word. My hands were shaking as they began to sweat. I held the envelope with the tip of my fingers in fear that it would get my hand sweat all over it. I silently waited for my cue, trying to stand still. 

"And now to present the award for Best Supporting Actor, please give it up for Vivienne Parker!" I stepped out, waving to the crowd of people who were clapping and cheering me on. Some even stood up for me. My first standing ovation. I blew some kisses and went straight to the podium. 

I took a deep breath and began reading from the teleprompter. "Hello, everyone. Miss me yet? Yeah, I wouldn't either." The crowd burst into laughter at my stupid joke as I waited for them to go silent again. 

"You know, the geniuses behind this whole award show compiled a fabulous speech for me to read, however I brought my own speech tonight." I cleared my throat.

"What you saw on my Twitter- and I can say without a doubt that you know exactly what I'm talking about- everything that I mentioned was true. I went through hell and back in the name of rich and famous. I've seen both the glamor and the gloom of fame, and let me tell you; the gloom does not come in designer. I almost lost friends, almost lost my own life, and ended up in an institution. And here I am tonight back on the red carpet. It truly feels like home and indeed I'm happy to be a part of this award show. To my agency who hates me right now, thank you for this gig." Everyone applauded and cheered. 

"Ever since my post, I've had quite a lot of time to think- about a lot of things. My career was one of them. As much as I love what I do, I've realized how much I yearn for a normal life, especially after meeting someone very special." I paused. "Otis, you changed my life and saved me in every way someone like me can be saved. I can't see you from here but you can see me." I began laughing. "I love you, Otis Milburn. I've always loved you, even when I wasn't supposed to." The crowd went nuts as they cheered me on. Tears started running down my face, but for once they were happy tears. I felt confident. I could feel it in my heart that I was doing the right thing.

"This is not an easy decision, but it absolutely is the right one. I never thought that I would ever want to ditch the spotlight, but I have to start doing things for my own self from now on. A little selfishness doesn't hurt sometimes. I'd like to thank everyone who has supported me through my journey and to know I couldn't have done it without you. And finally, the person in my life who I absolutely wouldn't be here without right now, Nick Robinson. I will always love you. Thank you for putting up with me, my insanity and everything in between." 

I suddenly felt so much lighter. As if a heavy weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I was walking on clouds. The crowd kept cheering me on as a few bodies began to stand up. I didn't know whether they were happy for me or the fact that I was leaving the spotlight. Right now, it didn't matter. I finally had my voice heard. I had absolutely nothing to hide anymore. 

"Here are the nominees for best supporting actor." I watched the video show the nominees, Nick's was third out of five. I eagerly opened the envelope, hoping it was Nick's name. 

"And the Cinema Movie Award goes to.... Nick Robinson." I had the largest smile on my face. I watched Nick run up the stairs and give me the biggest hug, lifting me from the ground." I gave him his award and he wrapped his arms around me again. I felt complete. For once I felt things were going my way. Things were falling into place. 

We both walked down as Nick carried his award in one hand and had my arm around his in the next. I walked over to Otis, who sat there with a large grin on his face. He stood up and looked me in the eye. "I love you Vivienne. I always have, from the moment I met you I knew you were special." He grabbed both sides of my face and his lips pressed on mine. Tonight, Nick and I were both winners. 

***

I was showered with support for the rest of the night. During intermissions at the award show, at the afterparty, and all over social media. My speech was the most talked about and the recording was everywhere. 

I knew in my heart that I had done the right thing. A breakthrough role in a film wasn't going to make me feel complete. I wanted to love who I wanted to love, to be able to go out in public without the fear of being watched, I just wanted to be free. 

We headed back to Nick's house, leaving the afterparty early. We were tipsy and tired, finding every little thing funny. Otis came to my room after he sobered up, which surprisingly didn't take him long. 

"Knock knock." He whispered. I moved over and patted my bed so he could sit down. 

"I'm sorry for confessing my love for you on live TV." I laughed.

"Hey, it's okay. Only like, everybody who's on Twitter and watching the award show saw it." He giggled and planted a kiss on my cheek.

"I love you, Otis. You are the best thing to have ever happened to me." 

"I'd do anything for you." He whispered. 

***

Breakfast the next morning was extra tasty, and everyone was in a fantastic mood. 

"I'm so proud of you, Nick. You award-winning actor." I winked. 

"It's nothing, really. Let's talk about that speech. So what's next?"

"It's done. I'm Vivienne Parker. The former supermodel." I said as I scarfed down my chocolate pancakes.

"And school?.."

"Going back tomorrow with Otis."

"What about money?" Otis asked. 

"Honey, I'm set for the rest of my life. I wouldn't worry about me." I reassured him. 

"You're doing what makes you happy. I'm proud of you, Vivienne." Nick smiled. 

Leaving the agency was the only step left. After that, my new life officially began. 


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