The pretend

chapter 2

Everett

Coming out was a difficult thing to do in this world, especially if you're gay like me. I spent years hiding my true identity, dying slowly inside, going to church every Sunday hearing the pastor talk about it like an evil act. Which of course I believed because I was young. I forced myself to like women,I even dated some but it didn't work out because that's not what I wanted.

When my friends back in high school used to talk about girls, how they feel against their skin and so much more all my mind was on how a boy will feel when he is tucked or I was tucked under his arms as we sleep our night away. How it will feel like be to kiss, hold, and show him off as mine yet I couldn't because I had religious parents.

I was devastated all those years, and I couldn't tell a soul because to them I was sick, a disease and I couldn't have that humiliation plus I didn't want to humiliate my family until I went to college and met my two best friends. Wes was the one to find out that I was gay despite not telling him, he figured it out, apparently, when they talked about girls he would see how I flinch and my mood could turn sour, I thought he was gonna hate me or hit me but he didn't he accepted me with open arms and I have never been grateful in my life like that day.

I started feeling myself around him until I mustered enough courage to tell Wallace who also didn't give a fuck because apparently, he has a gay cousin. I think we all do. I was happy and I can't say that my college life was shitty, no with Walla and Wes by my side it was amazing.

I was myself for those years and I started to know that it wasn't a sin or disease like the pastor made people believe. All I know God loves us all because he is a loving God, he wouldn't have created me if he he didn't love me but in the past five years I think he does really hate me.

Imagine losing my family so that I can be myself, to love another man without restrictions but God decided to bring me a man who is so deep in the closet he even tossed the keys so deep in the lake in that no one can find them to open the door and that's my fuckin husband Jared Easton.

Do you know that I met him the same day I came out, yeah, I remember telling you that but here is the full story?

We were so drunk that day, I stumbled into him on our way to Wes' apartment. He was the beautiful, handsome man I ever seen in my life. I always thought Nicklaus was but Nicklaus didn't even reach the looks of Jared.

First I fall in love with his stormy silver eyes, second his build, he is so muscled, his body is like rocks, third his smile which melts my whole being, and forth his voice. As in have you heard Jared speaking. Oh my God damn the man is so sexy it should be a crime. The first day I saw him I couldn't look away,I was drunk but I knew a beautiful man when I see one.

We were so drunk we didn't know where we were going and being the generous man he was he offered the three idiots a ride and took us to his house. It was big and by looking at him you would know that his bank account has more than three zeros. That night he took care of us and we were grateful. Since that day he became our friend and from our friendship, we started feeling something for each other.

You know the gist.

It's not that I didn't fall for him the first day but I was scared thinking he might be straight but...

Jared is gay as they come and I love him to bits but the bad thing about him is that he fears his parents more than anything. Not that I don't understand him,I do so much but this wasn't the life I wanted. I can't hug him, kiss him, or do any other couples do in public. We have to hide behind closed doors. Even though we are married.

When I tell you that Jared is in deep closet I mean it. He proposed to me after a year of dating but our wedding was far away from here, in Alaska freezing our asses off but since I love him I didn't care. He made sure no relative or his parents know about it or find out. We live together but not as a couple but as friends. In our bedroom, we are a couple but in each other's eyes expect the few____ meaning our best friends but in the eyes of other people, we are just friends who share an apartment.