The pretend

Chapter 18

Everett,

"I'm tired of this, always him thinking about his parents, when will a day come and he only thinks of me. His pregnant husband" I paced back and forth in Wes' living room as he continued looking at me without saying a word. I had arrived like thirty minutes ago and started pacing and rumbling to him about what had happened before I stormed out on Jared.

"As in, I do all of this for him, but he can't do one thing for me. If he truly loves me why can't he grow some balls and tell his parents that he likes cocks, for fucks sake he is twenty-nine going to thirty in a few months but he is still scared of being disowned. What the fuck" I rumble again, still pacing around.

"Can you sit down and calm down?" Wes said softly

"Take a look at me, Wes, this is not me. I have never dreamed of wearing a dress since I found out that I was gay. This isn't my style and you know it. But I'm doing this because of him, I'm doing this because I want his parents to love me, I risk getting pregnant because of him but he can't risk anything for me and it hurts. I'm so mad, just because I told Nick about us and all he thinks about is his family" I rumble again.

"Everett..."

"I look ridiculous Wes, all I want is for him to see that even if his parents will not accept him that he will have us, I will still be here for him because I love him so much. This is what I ever wanted, a husband, a child. A family where I will not be hidden away like some trashcan but I can't have that" tears streamed down my face feeling emotions taking over. I don't even know why I'm so mad but hell I am. Looking into my husband's eyes and seeing how scared he was made me realize that no matter what I do I won't be enough.

Wes pulled me into his chest hugging me tightly as I cried in his chest. He was soothing me by rubbing my back in small circles whispering that everything will be fine. I don't know how many hours I was there crying my eyes out but Wes didn't let go at all until I had no tears to let out.

"Do you feel ok now?" he asked softly. I nodded still sniffling but I was a little bit ok. "Now look at me Everett" he commanded in his deep voice which meant that he was about to give me his piece of mind. He was the type of guy who don't talk too much but whenever he speaks he says the right words.

"First and foremost, you don't look ridiculous in those dresses of yours. I mean look at you Ev, you look so hot and sexy in them. Sometimes I even forget that you're a man and damn those curves of yours are on point" I chuckled at that as he looked me up and down "Secondly, Jared didn't force you to do anything, all this was on you so stop blaming him for cross-dressing and getting pregnant coz he never asked you to do it. Third, when you married him you knew the man will never come out to his parents like ever. I mean, he is twenty-nine but he isn't ready so that was on you too though I can't blame you there, you thought he will eventually grow balls but sadly..." he said and I know it's the truth.

"Though..." he continued when I thought he was done "Jared doesn't know what he has coz if I was in his place, I would have risked everything for you" I smiled at that. "No man in this world could do what you're doing for him. I know I can't" he says shaking his head "you Everett you're one in a million, accepting to carry a baby, just to make his parents happy. Who does that" he shook his head chuckling "I know I can't do that to make someone else family happy" he says truthfully laughing "I think it's time for Jared to step up his game, you pretending to be who you're not, is something a person does if they love you and I'm sorry to say this but I think you should not tolerate this anymore. I know you love him but Ev, you're going to break your own heart.

"It hurts me to see you like this and it's going to hurt me so fucken much when a time comes and Jared has to choose which I know he will choose his parents. I think it's time for him to make that decision now before it's too late or at least until the baby is here. That baby will need both of their parents so it's time to know if Jared is in this hundred percent. You're not going to pretend forever, so it's better now than late" he breathed in.