i convinced myself it was love. love, not like. even when you shut down and the phone calls stopped coming and i started sinking again. i kept telling myself you'd come back. that you still cared and we would stick it out. we're gonna be okay we're gonna be okay we're gonna be okay...just giving me a taste of my own medicine i suppose. i always was the one to break things off. the one in the tabloids whose picture was covered with red text. the one who took the reds and blues to forget. so maybe i deserve what i got. i just never thought you'd be the one to give it to me. i never thought you'd be the one to break my heart and leave me stranded. maybe you just fooled me.
love is a wild ride. paper thin sheets and paper thin promises of forever. i believed all of them. you were my favorite song. my favorite memory. the best question mark i'll ever know. the one that got away. we're the cold of the winter and the heat of the tornado at once. the hot sparks of summer weren't enough to keep us going. the smell of cigarettes and notes left on your trailer porch with stupid little hearts and stars on them. your fingers on my sunburst bass. songs we wrote and played together, shows that live on in my mind even though they're done forever. is it for the better? you seemed to think so. you think i'm fine. i tell you i'm fine. i'm falling apart. i am breaking and i make no sense. my thoughts are shaped like you and my drinks don't erase your scent, always on my tongue. your shirt is still hanging in my closet. i can't make myself get rid of it because to do that would be to lose the last fragment of you that i still have. the last piece of your heart that you gave me.
you always were my favorite memory. the best reason to sleep in, to forget work, to lay there a little longer in a fading paradise. i'm stupid for holding on, i know. waiting in dreams and living in memories that will never become realities. dream of someone you love tonight, and i'll dream of you with someone new.
