LISTEN {H.S.} A.U.

Beautiful Hands

She - Harry styles

"You will always fall in love, and it will always be like having your throat cut, just that fast."
― Catherynne M. Valente,

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"What am I looking at?" Sylvia handed me her phone and all I am seeing is her photo app open to me.

Sylvia is sitting at the end of the couch and as she gets up, I can tell that she is in deep thought about whatever she is about to show me. What in the world can she be so thoughtful about that she is practically burning my floor with her pacing.

"Open the 'Emergency' labeled folder with a selfie with Mari and I." She plops herself next to me and I tap my thumb over the small square.

The blood rushes to my head and I feel slightly dazed as I go through the pictures. I can already feel the color slowly draining from my skin. I don't know what to say at this exact moment. I can quite literally feel the blood rushing through my veins.

I put the phone down and I am frozen. I haven't seen many horrific things but this is a completely different feeling from horrific. I am terrified, and I feel this pressure in my head that causes me to lay back. I feel so fucking stupid.

"Sylvia?" I spoke out but my throat hitches. This wave of emotions hit me completely. As if I am her, and I am there in the exact moments where life imprinted her with the horrors of man. Not trying to be poetic but that is relatively how I feel. I feel like the bruising is on my skin, the sting when you get hit is on the exact spots. Obviously that is not the case, but god she must have been so scared. To have to wake up every day and see violence just tattooed on herself.

"Don't blame yourself for the mistakes of others Harry. Mari is difficult with reason." Sylvia says, rubbing her thighs. I look at my hands and I shake at the thought of putting my hands on someone. Especially on someone who is so welcoming, and bright.

"How long?" I refer to the time she spent enduring this pain.

"Years. I have those because we don't know if he will ever pop up randomly in her life. Just precautionary steps." Sylvia says as she looks at her phone and shoves it in her cardigan pocket.

"That is so awful. I don't know if it is right to ask but why didn't she leave? I mean its Mari you know?" I motion with grand gestures with my hands to emphasize the large personality that is Mari.

"I don't know. She doesn't really talk about that aspect of her life. Everything else she dishes out freely but I showed you that because look at the way we think of Mari." She repeats the same gesture with her hands before continuing. "I want you to keep that thought of Mari in you but just because she is one way; doesn't mean that she didn't magically be this way. She is fighting a lot of things internally to be this amazing woman. When someone or something is so amazing, we can't rush it because then it's gone. Give her time, and be patient. If you really want her in your life. Be patient." Sylvia says. The first time I have ever seen Sylvia genuinely sincere. Not even drunk is she genuine.

"I thought I was just finding someone with the same condition or whatever that shit you both have is called, but I found a friend. I found someone who actually is just such a genuine person. She deserves some patience and a friend." She finishes off. It sounded like she was trying to convince herself of this situation with Mari. The lying and the pretending to not know what is going on is really taking a toll on her.

My heart squeezed a little seeing Sylvia confused with her own decision and role in this. I got up and started heading towards the room Mari was sleeping in. I knocked on the door but I got no response so I slowly opened the door. My eyes are half shut, just in case.