Still No Apologies

"God Made a Mistake!"

Of course I know God does not make mistakes. And I knew that when I was little. I guess you can picture a seven year old girl yelling she is a mistake, and she was not meant to be a girl, because God messed up. Yeah, that girl was me. 😑

I am writing this because one of my friends is going through a similar, if not the same thing. I wonder how many other Christians feel this way, that us girls and women are being limited in the Christian faith and life.

When I was younger, I was really frustrated with many things about being a girl. My parents would tell me, "Be a lady!" and I would yell, "I don't wanna be a lady!" Ew, gross. Ladies. 😆 Here WAS my take on being female (forgive me, ladies):

- "I hate having long hair. It gets into everything, takes time to brush, and my brothers can pull it when we are wrestling,"

- "I hate necklaces! My mom makes me wear them and it's really annoying. Like, what is this thing around my neck?"

- "Everyone thinks I'm cute. Ew. I'm not cute. I am a ferocious dinosaur! Rawr!"

- "Why do I have to wear dresses when we go to church? What is this? Who ever thought it was a good idea to attach a shirt and pants, except the pants are really loose and only have one leg?!"

- "Girls are weak! We get beat by the boys in races once we get older. I have to be the best at everything! My brothers aren't going to beat me! Ever!"

- "Girls are such wimps! And gossips! All they do is whine and talk about other people and act all fakey."

- "I NEVER WANT TO BE PREGNANT! WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT THAT?"

- "I have to submit to my future husband? No way! I'm not marrying!"

- (Get ready for the big lie) "God doesn't like girls as much as boys. He likes boys much better."

Being a girl was such an annoyance to me, and I really hated it and wanted to be a boy. I would sometimes dress up like a boy, and try to hide my long hair. I thought I could pass for a boy, even though I was very female looking.

I think a lot if it was stereotypes and my perfectionism. I had the idea that I had to be better at everything than anyone in the world. I don't know how I thought that was possible. Nobody was going to get ahead of me. No girl, no boy. Also, I was, and am, not the idea of a girl everyone seemed to have. Chatty, gossippy, loud, emotional, social, can't throw a ball (neither could I, but I could kick one! ⚽️), likes clothes and jewelry too much, wastes money and buys too many shoes, etc. Some girls are like this, but not me. I despised this expectation with every ounce of my being. I also did not like the girls in my church, who are mostly very shallow, rude, godless, and gossipy.

I also thought the Bible said women are below men.

I eventually grew out of this once I realized some things below. I think I finally got out of this at ten years old, at least. Plus, I got my hair cut short (not boy short) for the first time because of swimming at eleven. That made me so much happier, and I grew it out, and cut it again to donate.

Today, I recognize a lot of my hatred of being a girl was due to biblical misunderstandings and ridiculous stereotypes. A few years ago I watched an animation where a person explained their nonbinary identity. In the animation, the nobinary person tried to fit in with girls, then boys, finding to their dismay that they didn't fit in anywhere. Of course, the girls were all stereotypical Barbie dolls, lovers of pink, perfume, and super feminine clothing. The men were all equally ridiculous football-head stereotypes. That's the way I used to think, until I realized almost nobody is a stereotype. And who ever said I had to fit into any of that? Certainly not God!

I see a lot of gender and sex related madness today. I think a lot of people, like me, have trouble fitting in and they believe (due to society's expectations) that the reason they cannot fit in has to do with their gender. But I won't go on that tangent right now.

Right now, I am happy with who I am. Being a woman isn't something I think about every day of my life. I don't feel inferior, and while I know I am physically weaker than most men, I no longer feel the need to be the best at everything. Women have some physical advantages over men and vice versa. God made me who I am for a reason, and I'm ok with that. The Bible makes it clear that men and women are equally made in the image of God, and are equal within the church.

"There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus" (Galatians 3:28). This verse doesn't mean these categories are irrelevant, but that we are all equal and part of one church under Jesus.

"In the day that God created man, He made him in the likeness of God. He created them male and female, and blessed them..." (Genesis 5:1b-2a). In this passage, the Bible takes special care to note that both male and female humans are created in the image of God. To insult a man for being a man is an insult to God. Likewise, to insult a woman for being a woman is an insult to God. We are equally image-bearers.

In the Bible, Jesus showed more concern for women's spiritual development rather than their duties in the home, which defied cultural expectations. "Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus' feet and heard His word. But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, "Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me."

And Jesus answered and said to her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her" (Luke 10:38-42).

Of course, there are teachings in the Bible about women that are much less easy for our culture to swallow. And to that, I say, "Too bad!" I will address those verses later. I just wanted to share God's heart towards women, and my changing perspective on what it means to be a woman.

XX, Ellie(Comment if you get the closing! 🤓)