BOXER'S BALLERINA | KOOKV

Ch 14. Bruised body

He stands there for a long moment.

In front of the door. And a part of him wants to run away back home. A part of him thinks that maybe he shouldn't be here; that the things in himself shouldn't be gathered in front of someone else's front porch.

Taehyung thinks a lot of things, but most of all he thinks of how to make his hands stop shaking when the door opens.

Jimin appears baffled by his state when he opens the door.

And he follows Jimin's line of sight over his body. His hair a messed mop of blonde on his head, dried tears and red eyes. And he notices the bruises on his neck.

"Tae-"

"I can't go home like this, please jiminie" Taehyung's voice is so tense, emotional. He  tries to play it normal and not let it show. But Taehyung can't stop shaking.

Jimin hesitates, but when he watch the other's appearance it's enough of an answer before he rips his body away and scoots over to create space for his friend to walk inside.

An suffocated breath escapes past his lips at the cozy temperature. Maybe it wasn't just the cold that had made him shake.

"What the hell happened?" Jimin instantly says. His expression twisted into worry. Gaze turning to his neck. "-where have you been?"

His voice is flat. Defeated. He's clamming up again as he stares at him and Taehyung knows Jimin knows him like the back of his hand.

But when he looks at him with genuine concern it makes him feel like throwing up.

"Nothing, I was just out and it's nothing.."

"Taehyung" Jimin looks more than skeptical. Knows it when he uses his full name.

"I'm really okay" Taehyung replies almost instantaneously, he forces a smile on his lips and forces his nails into his palms. Because the last thing he wants is to be even more of a burden to his friend now.

Jimin still looks slightly put off by the comment. But the ballerina beats him to it.

"I just need you to-" Taehyung stops, tells himself to suck up the crack in his voice when he continues. "I need your help to cover these up before I go home"

"Where did you get-"

"Please Jimin."

An hour later Taehyung is sat on Jimin's bed, swathed around warmth. A cup of hot chocolate beside him that still is left untouched. Taehyung loves hot chocolate.

But right now, with the sponge and brush pressing his bruised skin with layers of foundation, it makes him forget that.

The fingers of Jimin pressing with the brush against his neck pause and even though his eyes glued to his hands, he knows that his best friend is staring right at him.

"Tae- you know you can tell me anything right? like we always do" Jimin starts gently. He's trying to reach out but Taehyung has this guard around him and he doesn't understand this him this time.

"Yeah.."

"I'm just really worried about you, tae. I care, y'know? and I don't want you to keep things to yourself"

Jimin's words are severe and Taehyung bites the inside of his cheek because right now, he doesn't want to disappoint him.

Before his best friend can make another worried remark at his morbid words, he stops him.

"I'm okay Jiminie, I was just out and I- I was with someone and we took it to far and now I just don't want my parents to see it"

He lies and even himself believes it.

Taehyung forces a halfed smile on his lips "You know how they were when we accidentally spilled their favorite wine on the carpet" He laughs, but it sounds painful.

Why can't he just tell Jimin that he's not okay? Why is it so goddamn hard for him to tell him, that everything hurts.

Hurts the way it did the first time when Taehyung had kissed Jeongguk and now all he feels is hyun's lips against his neck. Hurts like when he had been called disgusting when he first wore his mother's skirt at eight grade. That it just hurts, and he doesn't feel the slightest okay.

The sun in Jimin's eyes begins to set like pity. And he can't see it.

Now he can't say anything to him. Because Jimin is the one person he can fall before on the steps and wouldn't be embarrassed. But he is also the one person he wouldn't bare to see break down when he hears the truth.

Jimin laughs, begins to move the foundation against his bruises again.

"They really got so mad that time, even I was scared" He chuckles, convinced, as he looks the ballerina in the eye with a smug look.

"Apart from that you bitch, when did you become so bold and started getting hickeys? who's this lucky guy you didn't even tell your best friend about?"

Taehyung looks down at his shaking hands, bottom lip trembling and vision blurring. "I will tell you about him one day"

"Is he that good that you're keeping him a secret from me now?" Jimin calls him out, his snorts clogged in his ears.

His eyes are hurting again and his body feels terribly heavy. There's hands on him and Taehyung is trembling, there's Hyun's face and he wants it to be Jeongguk and Taehyung can't breathe.

"Yeah..he is" Taehyung manages to choke out, a sob nearly tearing its way from the back of his throat. He tries to convince himself it's okay.

He tries to act like it doesn't matter, what happened. He really does. But then he's shaking and his eyes sting and then there's tears running down his cheeks and everything hurts.

So much.

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