I Still Do

Chapter 2

(Dancing With Your Ghost By Sasha Sloan)

Wilbur's Pov

TW- Panic/Anxiety Attack/Throwing up

As Faithfully By Journey sounded out through the flat, I was playing it off of my record player.

Memories poured into my mind.

I stood in the kitchen imagining her being there with me. I imagine dancing with her every day. Dancing like nobody was watching.

I felt air get stuck in my lungs and it was getting harder to breathe.

"Come on, Will! Dance with me." She held her hands out with a bright smile on her face.
I grabbed her hands with a smile on my own face before I spun her around. She let out a beautiful laugh as we faced each other.

"I love you." I spoke as I threw the glass of water I was holding, letting it shatter all over the floor.

"Why did they do this to us?" I screamed as I slid down against the cabinets.

Once I hit the floor, I brought my legs up to my chest and cried. I cried like I've never cried before.

Good thing Skylar and Ranboo were staying with Nora because I could not handle them in the house. I love those two to death, but I don't want them to see me like this. My hands covered my face as I cried. I bit down on my lip to try and muffle my cries, but it didn't help.

"I fucking hate this so much." I laid my head back against the cabinet before standing up.

"You destroyed me Jareds. I fucking hate you so much." I said as I gripped onto the counter top.

My knuckles were white from the amount of force I was using. My head was pounding like it was getting hit with a metal bat over and over again.

"I fucking hate you because i loved you so fucking much. I still do."

With every breath I took, a new memory of us that I didn't get the chance to make with her popped in my head. Never in my life did I ever think that she would be affecting my life so much.

Even after seven fucking years, i was still as much of an emotional wreck as i was when it first happened.
A knock sounded out throughout my flat, and I didn't dare to move an inch.

"I'll get it!"

"Fucking hell!" I screamed as I ran my fingers through my hair.

"Get out of my fucking head!" I screamed louder as I heard the door unlock and opened.

"You all stay outside!" I heard a stern call out as the door shut and locked again.

If I knew coming back to Brighton was going to be like this, I would've stayed in Florida longer.

I heard footsteps approach me. I didn't bother to lift my head.

"Will, what the fuck-" Phil cut himself off as he saw me leaning against the counter.

I didn't even notice that there was blood on my hand until I looked at them. I looked down and quickly ran to the trash can before throwing up.

Phil grabbed a new glass and filled it with water before giving it to me and rubbing my back.

"Phil, I hate it here. I hate it so much." I sobbed as he hugged me.

"I know. And it wont get any easier. But you have to try and move on Wilbur. This is the third time I've come over and you've shattered, or broke something. I don't want to even know how many times i dont catch you breaking shit." He mumbled the last sentence before grabbing the broom and sweeping up the mess I created.