I Still Do

Chapter 14

(Love In The Dark By Adele)

Daytona's Pov

TW- Panic Attack

The beeping on the monitor jumped me awake. I looked around the room. Everything was foggy.

"Max, it will all be better in due time. You have to trust that."

"She's awake!" Max called out and everyone took a deep breath. 

I looked around the room and noticed everyone. Ember, Liana, Ryder, Max, Dad, and Wilbur. What the hell happened?

Nurses came rushing into the room and I stayed quiet.

"What's going on?" I managed to speak.

My voice felt scratchy. And it was dry. I didn't even know how I could get those words out.

"You had a panic attack last night and passed out." The doctor informed me and I nodded.

The stares on me felt horrid. I felt like I was being stalked, I felt like I was about to become shattering glass.

Wilbur hasn't come to visit. He hasn't been here in a week. I don't know what's going on, but I don't like it. I've gotten so attached to him in a week and now he doesn't show? When I need him the most, he's gone. He's nowhere to be found.

I tried to be brave last night. I was waiting for him to show, but my hope kept lowering. Maybe I was being stupid. I just met him, I don't remember him. What if I never remember him? Am I ready to take that step? I feel too in my head.

The doctor said I could go home within a week. I was so happy about that. I've been doing good with my therapy, they've been running tests like crazy and making sure I'm okay. I've met an abundance of new people and they all are somehow affecting my life in some way.

The doctor said he just needs to clear me the rest of the way, and start scheduling check ups. I was really glad I was getting better, but I hate this room.

I feel like I'm drowning. Like I'm tied to an anchor on a boat, and I've dropped. As much as I try to get back up, I can't. Not without help.

Maybe I'm going crazy.

I felt like the room was spinning and I grabbed a hold of my bedside. I lifted myself up and felt a sharp pain in my chest.

I sucked in a breath before standing up all of the way. I walked over to the window in my hospital room and sat there staring out at it. I leaned my head against the window, looking down at Brighton, and I cried.

I cried because I didn't know what else to do. I didn't know what else to feel.

The daisies in front of me were starting to wilt. I pulled at the necklace around my neck and let out a sob. I tried to get up, but I couldn't. I felt paralyzed in my position.

Did I do something wrong to make everyone upset?
The door of my hospital room had a knock on it. My heart sank. It wasn't the three knocks like normal, it was one. Therefore, it wasn't the man I have been dying to see all day, all week.

Maybe his girlfriend doesn't like me. I mean, she has a pretty name. From the way he spoke to her, that only made me think that the two were together.

I don't even understand why I'm so upset about it. I shouldn't be. He's not mine. He never was, he never will be. I'm just in my head.

I tried to convince myself over and over again, but it wasn't working. Something about him felt so real, so normal. And I hated it. I hated it because as much as he drew me in, I was being pushed away just as fast.