I Still Do

Chapter 21

(Let It All Go By Birdy And Rhodes)

Wilbur's Pov

Her head was laying on my chest as we laid in her bed. The lights were on but I didn't feel like moving. I told her.

I finally told her.

Her soft breaths calmed me down and I closed my eyes.

"I loved you!" I screamed, all of my emotions clogging my throat.

I wanted to scream and cry to her, telling her that it's always been her. For seven years, it's always been her.

The rain poured down on the streets and sidewalks, making this seem too perfect of a moment. The streets were quiet, no cars driving by, no people walking. It was honestly scary that nobody was on the streets.

"And guess what! I still do." I screamed again.

I searched for any emotion on her face but she stayed numb in the face. Tears were pouring from her eyes and she looked down at the ground.

"And i couldn't tell you that because before you got into your accident i never even told you! You left me- and i didnt even get to tell you how much I loved you." The fear that I had in that moment was through the roof.

She then turned a heel and started walking away from me.

"Stop walking away from me!" I shouted standing in front of her and making her stop.

I placed both of my hands on both of her shoulders and she looked up at me. The pain, the fear, yet there was a small sensation of happiness circling her eyes.

The water fell down from my face. Both from the rain and my tears. I blinked a couple tears away and took a deep breath. My chest was rising and falling at a fast speed because of shouting.

"Then why are you pushing me away?" She sobbed out and my heart broke. It felt like it broke all over again.

"I'm scared Jareds. Im so fucking scared." I finally admitted. But this time it felt different.

"You keep-" She tried to argue and I shook my head.

"I don't want to lose you. Not again." I put my hand on her cheek and I felt her freeze under my touch.

"When I said I loved you, I meant it. I can't lose you because if I did, I'd lose my best friend, my smile, my everything. Because you are my safe place. I already lost you once, I'm not losing you again."

Admitting this to her seemed so much easier in my head. She looked up to me, and stayed quiet. It was almost like she expected me to disappear, yet I thought she was going to.

I thought she was going to somehow magically vanish into thin air.

The silence was deafening, and that terrified me. I can't wrap my head around it. She looked down at my hands and noticed all of my scars from breaking things and punching holes into my wall.

Not a proud moment of mine.

"Say something. Anything." I pleaded, her silence was scaring the hell out of me. Daytona Jareds was never quiet.

She threw herself into my embrace and cried. She cried like she's never cried before and i held her up. My arms around her, holding her so tightly, my hands running through her wet hair.

"I'm sorry." She mumbled, trying to catch her breath.

"Don't apologize." I kissed the top of her head. I didn't want an apology from her. I knew where I messed up, and I knew what I needed to fix.

"No more secrets Jareds. Anything you want to know, I'm going to tell you. It doesn't matter how hard it is."

It's almost as if she heard me, but I knew that she was asleep. She hugged me tighter and I smiled.

"Alexa, turn off Jareds lights." I muttered quietly so I wouldn't wake Daytona.

Her lights faded away and I was left in darkness. I laid my head back and got comfortable. It's been a long time since I've slept next to someone, and she was a clingy sleeper. So was I when it came to her. I wrapped my arms around her and closed my eyes.

I wont up to a string of curses being said and I laughed quietly.

"Sorry, I woke up." She winced, sitting up from the floor.

"Are you okay?" I asked softly, helping her up.

"I tried to stand, and my legs said not today." She whined and I laughed.

She sat back down on the bed and laid back down. Cuddling into my arms again. This is how life was supposed to be.

"I have to stream later, but right now, I want to answer any questions you have."

I felt her smile and nod against my chest.

"Can you tell me the whole story?"

"The whole story?" I repeated, blinking slowly thinking that I was hearing things wrong.

"Yes, please?"

"Okay, it's- it's not going to be easy for me. So please bare with me." I mumbled, closing my eyes and recalling all of the memories together.

"How about i go get some things and I'll be back." I say up, realizing something.

"Wilbu-"

"Will."

"Excuse me?"

"You can call me Will, Jareds."

"Why did you freak out that day?"

"Because you asked me that same question before, I got scared and ran." I stood up and she nodded.

"Hold on, I'll be right back." I walked to the living room and grabbed the photo album that I had of us.
Once I got back to the room, I sat back down on her bed and she looked at the book.

"These are all pictures of us." I handed her the album and she opened it.

"Point to one and I'll explain them."

And so that's what we did most of the day. I sat there with her in my arms, explaining every picture and memory we shared together. The smile that was on my face never left once.

She was such a ball of happiness. I couldn't explain how happy she was to hear about every memory. I wasn't holding back, I made that promise to not only myself, but her, last night. I was done keeping secrets that could cost everything.

"I have to stream, will you be okay-"

"I'll be fine, go do what you do." She shoved me away with a smile on her face.

I got up slowly, and went to my room. I put on a hoodie and loaded up my stream. I got into a call with Tubbo and Techno. Others would most likely be joining us later.

"Hello Chat! I know- I'm in my flat. I'll be streaming from here for a little bit. Today we are joined by bee boy and pig man."

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