Trained For Sin

23. confused

Harry's POV

I left Louis' and started my walk to Niall's. I honestly don't mind a walk and considering Niall lives close by, it's calming.

I like Louis, he's not a bad guy. But his actions today are confusing me. Why wouldn't he take Luke's side? Why is he being so selfish? The Louis I've seen during all these years is not the Louis we saw today and I don't know why. He's always been a pissy one, but when something is so clearly off, he fights for it because he knows how terrible it is.

I hate Puke- Luke. But, like Louis, I stand up for what is right and I'm not going to let the fact he's Louis' ex make me feel different about how wrong this is. I don't even know their old coach but he's obviously a bad guy. I mean, who has sex with a sixten year old as a grandpa? Well, people on porn do but that's not real life. You have to be seriously messed up to do something like that.

I really thought things between me and Louis would become something. Like, maybe we could actually work out. Now, though, with all the fighting and even though I just confessed, I don't want it to work. I hate that I don't want it to work, but Louis is too stubborn and too willing to debate for us to work.

I made it to Niall's after about ten minutes and knocked.

"I got the door, don't worry!" I heard Zayn yell through the door, folowed by mumbled voices from Liam and Zayn replying, "Oh, shut up, would ya? Hey Harry, c'mon in." Zayn said to me.

"You don't sound too surprised about me being here. Why's that?" I asked him, walking into the house.

"We figured you'd get tired of Louis not hearing anyone out. Anyways, we have soda and crisps in the kitchen, help yourself."

"Who are you, as a guest in my house, to allow people to eat my food?" Niall asked, coming to the doorway. "Hey, H. Glad you could make it. No Louis?"

I sighed.

"No Louis. He's just so stubborn. He won't see any point of view but his own." I answered.

I went to the living room and plopped down on the couch, "What do I do?" I asked, about to breakdown.

They both were silent until Liam walked in and spoke his words of wisdom,

"You have to wait it out, let him realize where he was wrong. Don't ignore him or shy away from him, no, keep proving your point. He, one day, has to realize what Luke needs and what you and him need to make it. This happened today so don't expect Louis to come bursting through the door saying how he made things right with Luke and that he's sorry."

Just as Liam finished there was a loud and hard knock at the door.

"I got it." I said over the constant banging.

I open the door and see Louis standing there.

"Huh?"

"Look, I called Luke."

"Lou-"

"Hold on. I told him that I wanted to meet up and talk about some stuff."

I stayed silent and let him continue.

"Harry, Luke never stopped having sex with our coach. Simon picked up and spoke some threatening words to me. Hazza, there's nothing I can do to help him."

Since when did Louis want to help Luke?

"I know, I know, I was selfish earlier. I had a talk with my mum and she opened my eyes. I want to help Luke now. I want him to live the rest of his life free to do things he actually wants to do. And- I, I want to make things work between us. I want us to be able to understand where one another is coming from. I want to stop fighting all the time. And I want to be clear with you, I dont want you to regret confessing. I dont want you to regret ever loving me. Harry, I swear one day we will be something great. But we have to grow. Together." He finished off.

He's willing to change. He's willing to help Luke and be more understanding with me. Though I can't tell him I too want us to work. I don't. Not now. Right now, I want to forget about everything Luke and focus on friendships. I don't know what Louis really wants but I don't think just a talk with his mother would make him change his mind so fast.

Louis is a complex guy. I can't ever read his expression, I can't ever tell what mood he is going to be in, and I can never tell when he is lying and when he is not. Maybe there was more to that phone call than he is leading on. Or maybe there is more to the talk with his mother than just a talk. All I know, is Louis has to give us time and prove himself to be an honest man.

I refuse to go back into a toxic - whatever, I refuse to go back to Louis unless I have seen for myself that he is willing to listen. He has never once shown me he is a good listener, he has never once shown me he wants to change himself. Maybe it's just me. Maybe we really can't continue this on because of our differences and our history. I'll never know until I find out for myself.

"You think I like fighting with you? I want to stop just as badly as you do but it's not that easy. For as long as I've known you our entire relationship has been based off of arguments. It's how I figured out your name, your mum's name, your life story, and everything else I know about you I know because of my hatred towards you. I wanted to use it against you sometime in the future. I don't know how to not argue with you.

"Louis, I'm willing if your willing but I will not be anymore than friends with you until I see improvement. It'll be hard with you constantly being horny and I mean, I did just confess I love you so.."

Louis looked as if he was about to disagree, but he closed his mouth.

"Okay, you're right. But you have to work on things to. I want you to be less mean. I don't like it when we fight and you say degrading things about me." He ordered, letting his bottom lip come out slightly into a pout, making me chuckle.

"Deal."

Louis and I stood at the doorway for a bit longer before I spoke up,

"Uh, wanna come inside? From what I've heard there's food and drinks."

Louis shook his head, slowly, as if debating.

"I probably shouldn't. It might be a bit awkward... you know.."

"Oh, well I can just go, you can stay."

"No, no, it's fine. I'll go."

"Don't be silly! You like gatherings more than me. You stay, I'll go."

"I insist on you staying, I'll go."

"Louis, I'll-"

"Jeez o Pete, I'll go. You two stay." Niall butt in, slipping on slides and walking out the door.

"He does realize this is his house, right?" Louis asked.

Louis and I stood in silence til we both simultaneously burst out laughing.