red herring [h.s.]

10. (*)

Stella.

"I'm having sex tonight."

Erin was silent on the other end of the line after I had blurted out the fact. I was pacing around my apartment, waiting for Harry to get here.

"That's... wow, are you sure?"

I sighed, "Yes. I think so. I mean, I like him. He's been good, I've been having fun. We talk every day, he listens to me, wants to know me."

"I mean, if you feel good around him that's what matters, right? You've known him... what, for like a month now?"

"Yep, a month. Four weeks. I saw him on Wednesday and it was nothing like... sexual. But it was fun."

"Yeah, last weekend was pretty sexual, huh?"

I rolled my eyes, knowing that Erin had basically seen us dry humping at the club. I didn't really care, we weren't the only ones grasping at one another. It had been hard to deny him because I definitely did not have my period, but the teasing was quite fun and besides, I wanted to be fully sober and aware when we did go there.

"Okay, just be safe and don't hesitate to talk about boundaries, yeah? And text me the code word if necessary, I'll have my phone on hand all evening." She assured me.

"You're not going out?"

"No, I'm staying home. Logan's coming over to watch a movie, nothing special." She spoke and I nodded, "Okay. Is it normal that I'm a bit nervous?"

"Yes. He'll probably be nervous too. Just ease into it, have dinner together and watch a movie and you'll see what happens." She advised and I felt myself breaking out into a sweat, "I haven't done this in a very long time, Erin."

"I know. There's no shame in telling him that as well. Be open, talk about it."

I let out a breath, "Right. Well, he's going to be here any minute so I'm going to go." I ran a hand through my loose hair and paced around some more.

It was a cold November day and I wore a light blue hoodie with a pair of leggings since Harry and I were just staying in tonight so there was absolutely no need for me to be fancy. It didn't mean I wasn't wearing cute underwear though. I had taken an extensive shower after coming home from ballet and now everything was shaved and moisturized and ready to be seen by another pair of eyes.

"God, pull yourself together." I muttered to myself as I paced around some more. I liked Harry. This was fine, this was good. It would be nice. I had been fantasizing about this, as had he apparently. After our little grinding session in the club, Harry had excused himself in the restroom for quite a while. His face didn't give anything away when he returned but the bulge in his jeans was gone so I assumed he had jerked off in there.

The thought alone was exhilarating.

The night then continued smoothly and I enjoyed seeing Harry socialize with my friends. I did miss Zayn though. I had called him a few times this week and we had some talks, but it was always quite short due to the time difference and our schedules didn't really line up. He claimed to fly back in this weekend and we would probably all see him back on Sunday.

A week without Zayn was a lot and I realized how close him and I were and how much I liked him as a friend. He was really a big part of my life.

Harry and I had been texting all through the week, sometimes calling. The texts weren't as dry anymore, but we just asked each other random questions sometimes. Or he told jokes through text which cracked me up as I let out laughs in the aisles of Whitlock's as I pretended to work.