red herring [h.s.]

18. (*)

TW: death, illness

Harry.

It was a sleepless night for me. The entire day yesterday had been a ride.

I had been updating my Stella-file and hung out with my friends a bit until Stella asked me to go ice skating with her. I did, my friends showed up, we had an argument, we made up. We went to a bar, got drunk, I fingered Stella in an alley, she deepthroated me in her apartment while I made her come with a vibrator, I took naked pictures of her, she gave me the t-shirt, we showered together and then I found out about Jeremy.

Her fucking dead ex.

Jeremy, not Aidan. Even though when I asked her about it, she claimed to only have one ex, the guy from her high school who took her virginity.

I was lying down on my bed and it was around six in the morning. My audio from the bug in Stella's apartment was playing out loud, but all I could hear was soft breathing and little snores coming from Zayn. Who spent the night. On her couch, so it seemed, but I couldn't be sure with just this audio footage.

It was gut-wrenching to listen to Stella crying literally the entire night. Her and Zayn didn't talk much, and I supposed he just comforted her. I heard him urging her to take a shower, to eat something – which she refused. He never once pried to know what happened, what our argument had been about, what had been said or what I had done.

It was the perfect opportunity though for him to bad-mouth me, but he didn't take it. He just consoled Stella and coaxed her as she cried for hours in a row. Whenever she tried to speak, it was choked and in hiccups, mumbling stuff I couldn't understand.

I prayed to God he wasn't in her bed. I knew they weren't romantic together but still, I was in that same bed just hours before that with her. Changing the sheets together after she had squirted on them, seeing her pink cheeks when she saw the wet spots of her release over the white bedding, teasing her with it a little before I whispered in her ear how fucking hot it was to see her like that before shoving her back on the freshly made bed. She had to push me off before I stripped her naked again for another round.

And now she was crying.

And he was comforting her. I still wasn't sure as to why she had called him and not Erin or Logan who she had known for far longer. I had listened intently all night to her sniffles and whimpers until she seemingly feel asleep a few hours ago. And I hadn't closed an eye.

She had a boyfriend who had died. Jeremy.

Jeremy. Jeremy. Jeremy.

Stella and Jeremy. Jeremy and Stella.

Stella and Harry. Harry and Stella.

I rolled my eyes to myself as I straightened up in my bed and decided to make myself some coffee and smoke a cigarette. There was no way I was getting any more sleep tonight. I had called Liam in a panic since he was the only one I really trusted for advice. He said I couldn't blame myself. Even if I did start taking a liking in Stella, my head was still filled with the assignment and what Matt wanted from me in this job. That had completely overpowered me in that moment which is why I completely ignored her when she begged me to drop it. All I could think of was the assignment and how close I was possibly getting to answers.

Find Stella, get to know her, find the connection to Kristina and wait. Wait, wait, wait. Wait for Kristina to get to Stella and then take her down. Stella is the way to Kristina and that's who we need to find. Stella was just collateral damage, her heart was just collateral damage. And I knew that and I didn't care. At least at first I didn't.