red herring [h.s.]

38.

Stella.

I couldn't feel anything anymore as I got out of the cab and walked back into my apartment. I didn't know where to go. I couldn't go to any of my friends, I felt too... humiliated. Embarrassed.

I wanted to go home, I wanted my mum. The first thing I'd do when inside was check for the quickest flight to DC. I needed to get out of here. Away from him. He didn't even deny it. Everything Kristina said was true. Harry was a liar, he faked everything, it was part of his work and they just used me to try and get closer to Kristina.

I was just work.

Apparently the whole entire world knew she was my mother and that I was actually born Valeria. And then there was that proposition of hers. I had to admit it sounded tempting. Never having to worry about money anymore, I could get a house in the suburbs somewhere and live out my days comfortably. Alone.

Maybe I could adopt like seven cats and also adopt a few children. I'd like to be a mum. I think I'd be good at it. My breath came out puffy when I remembered Harry asking me if we could make a baby together. Some of him and some of me.

A little bean.

It felt so strange to have all of Harry being ripped away from me just like that. The past few months with him had been intense and we were so incredibly close. At least I was close to him. We spent almost all of our time together and it just kind of meant going from a hundred to zero in a matter of two hours. Like the rug just kind of got swept from underneath me.

I wiped beneath my eyes when I pressed the elevator button and went up to my floor. I didn't know what I was doing here, what I was supposed to do. I didn't know why I went to Harry's either. I guess I hoped he'd tell me it was all wrong and that he did love me and that we were together for real. That she was lying.

He broke my heart in the blink of an eye. And it was barely put together again, some glue patching up the cracks but I was weak. I always had been. Losing Jeremy nearly broke me. Because of Harry I opened up my heart again, and he knew that. And I tried so hard. I had never been a natural at anything, definitely not at chemistry and creating connections. All I did was try and try and try. How could that still not be enough.

I had told him how I thought I couldn't love again, how I thought Jeremy was my one. I told Harry how I thought he might be my second one. How could he listen to me say all of that while proceeding to lie straight to my face.

The cab driver had been silent as I sobbed in the backseat on our way here. Harry's actual house was quite the drive away and it had cost me a fortune, but there was no way I could get on a subway in this state. I wanted my mum. She'd know what to do. And my dad, one of his hugs would definitely patch me up right now. Falling asleep in my childhood bedroom with all the familiarity and love around me was what I needed right now. I couldn't stay in the apartment that was tainted by him. Everything here reminded me of him. The shower where he almost slipped, the skincare products in the bathroom cabinet, the stove he was cooking at all throughout last week, the couch he always took more than half off when we watched a movie together, his clothes in the closet, Miss Shark on my bed.

He was everywhere. My sheets even smelled like him.

I yelped in shock when I slid my lock into the door and pushed it open, seeing someone inside. My heart jumped up at the sight of Liam on the couch, his eyes on me as he casually sat on the piece of furniture.

"W-What are you doing here?" My voice was hoarse and croaky, my throat burning as I tried to speak. It was the second time in one evening that someone uninvited showed up here and I was done with it.