I N D U L G E N C E (August Alsina) Sequel The Second Chapter

24.[Where His Berried Empress Isn't Playing Her Part]

[Phoebe---Later on that Night]

“So you are going to school tomorrow? Right Kaitlyn?” I asked patiently as she sat by the dinner table stirring her spaghetti around onto the fork. At a point in my life, I thought my cooking really sucked, but Kaitlyn seems to enjoy it. She always asks if I’m going to cook. August, he doesn’t eat any. Well he barely does eat anything and that’s why he’s always dehydrated.

And I know it’s because of his appetite and not how my food tastes why he doesn’t really eat anything I make for him. It hurts my feelings sometimes, but atleast Kaitlyn enjoys it.

She shook her head no. “I not going.” I had picked her up from by her grandmother and she was so busy with Callie that she didn’t even notice me when I showed up. I found it extraordinary how little children are so fascinated with babies. It’s giving me ideas, but I’m scared to go down that road again. 

After I left the set, my feelings were all over the place. I went to the hospital to see my Father, who was coming out the day after tomorrow. He was doing very well, he was energetic and sitting up and walking around. He said he was feeling full of life and I was happy about that.

I tried to ignore my Mother but she wouldn’t be like ELSA (HAPPY NOW?)  in that stupid Frozen Movie and just  ‘Let it go’. She kept asking me about…everything. How school as going, how my monthly period was regulating, what I planned on doing with my hair next.

She suggested that I should put in highlights, but I knew she really didn’t want me to, she just wanted conversation with her adopted daughter and I couldn’t blame her. I was all she had, along with Daddy and she wanted to be right with me again.

In some aspects I was wrong for some of my behavior towards her, but I don’t regret it. I needed to say those things, that was an important part in my life.  She even asked me about my fertility treatments, I mean I did tell her I was doing them, but now I kind of regret it. I’m looking out for myself in the future, of course I want to have babies, I do.

But that doesn’t mean I want to have them right now. I just want to remain fertile, for when I find somebody who’s going to settle down and get married to me, so I can give them all the babies they desire. Part of me believes that August is not the marrying type. If he can enjoy lusty threesomes and drink and smoke until he’s numb than I don’t think marriage will be on his mind in time to come.

As much as I told August from the very first time we were getting to know one another, that I’ll never be intimidated by any of his groupies, I was wrong. Lola was capable of splitting my confidence in two,  snapping me at the waist.

Girls like her scare me because I know that I love August and that I long for our relationship to be perfect, but when people like her are around, my vulnerability exceeds its usual amount and I think August is that same dirty bastard he was before I met him.

“Yes, Yes you are going Kaitlyn. You are too smart to be missing school.”

She sighed looking down, pushing her late to the side. “Ms. Phe Phe, I see bad people. All around. They don’t leave me alone.”

I furrowed, looking at how sad she suddenly turned. I pulled the chair next to her. “What’s the real reason you don’t want to go to school Missy? You’re being bullied?”

She looked up at me and she shook her head no. “No. I not.”

“Well what is it? What do you mean you see bad people?”

“Nothing.” She sighed. 

I cupped her chin, directing her eyes to mine. “You sure? You can tell me anything. I don’t bite, and you know everything is between you. “ I touched her chest with my index finger before I touched mine. “And  me.  Just you and me Sweetie.”