lonely

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I'm stirred from my sleep by a loud banging noise. I have no idea what time it is, but it's still dark and I'm practically half asleep as I toss my covers aside.

I hear the banging again, along with a muffled "Mom." I flick on the hallway light and walk into the bathroom next to my bedroom.

"Syd? Are you okay, honey?"

"Momma, I puked," she mumbles, tears dripping down her face as she sits on the floor in front of the toilet. I drop to my knees next to her and tie her hair back with a scrunchie.

"Did you make it to the bathroom in time or did you puke in your room?"

"In my bed. I'm sorry, Momma."

"Don't apologize, sweetheart. I'll clean it up in a bit. Do you think you're going to get sick again?"

She hesitates, then shakes her head no. "Okay," I whisper, gently rubbing her back. "How about we get you cleaned up and then you can go sleep in my bed?"

She nods and I help her brush her teeth and clean up. I carry her into my bedroom and tuck her in, then put some cartoons on the TV to keep her distracted. I lean down and kiss her forehead, which is slightly burning up. "I'll see you in the morning, okay? Yell if you need anything."

"I love you, Momma."

"I love you too, baby."

I close my bedroom door as I leave so I don't wake her up, then go to Syd's bedroom to put her bedspread in the wash. After that, I go to the kitchen and check the time; it's past 3 in the morning.

Sitting at the counter, I take out my phone and click on contacts. I know they won't pick up at this time, but hopefully if I leave a message, things will move quicker.

The phone rings and eventually goes to voicemail. "Hi, Dr. Lancaster. Sorry to bother you at this hour, but Syd just threw up and she's running a fever again. I know you said it's probably nothing, but I can't shake the feeling that something's off. Can we schedule an appointment as soon as possible? Thanks." I end the message with a sigh.

Since it's almost four in the morning and anxiety has made residence in my gut, there's no chance of me falling back asleep. I meander about the apartment, doing dishes and cleaning up to pass the time. My phone dings around five in the morning.

Florence: hey darling! I know you're probably asleep but I've just been told that I have to leave town for a few days and I didn't want to leave without telling you. My flight leaves at noon but I have a lot of last minute packing to do. I'll bring you and Syd a souvenir ;)

I laugh at the message and debate if I should wait to answer. Isn't that the socially acceptable thing to do? Screw it, I don't care.

Me: hey Flo :) I'm actually awake right now lol. Where are you going? Anywhere exciting?

Florence: Why are you up? Go back to bed! I have to fly out to LA for a couple of photoshoots. I really don't want to gooo

Me: photoshoots? what are you famous or something?

Florence: haha very funny. don't change the subject. you're a mother, you need your sleep!

Me: Syd is sick. that's why I'm up. send me pictures during the shoot. I wanna see you all glammed up.

Florence: she's sick? poor thing. how about I bring over some bagels for breakfast? and coffee for a certain hardworking mom ;)

Me: that's really sweet, Flo. You don't have to do that, I'm sure you're super busy

Florence: it's no trouble. I'll be over at eight?

Me: sounds good. thank you.

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a/n: this is a really short update but there will be another one at some point tonight!

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