Let You Down

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"Hey," I greet with a smile after I pull open the door. "Come in."

"Is the little booger still in bed?" Florence asks, looking around the living room for Syd.

"No," I say, laughing at the nickname. "She's still in bed. I'll go wake her up."

"No, no. Let her sleep a little longer. We've got time."

"Okay," I smile. "Have a seat. Tell me about these photoshoots."

We sit down on the couch and she hands me a cup of coffee. "It's no big deal. Just something for Vogue and-"

"Vogue?  You think Vogue is no big deal? Florence, that's insane," I laugh. "For the record, I think you'd look pretty damn good on the cover of Vogue."

"I never said I was going to be on the cover," she counters.

"Well I'm gonna be pissed if you're not. You deserve it."

"Thank you." Our conversation comes to a pause as we just look at each other with tired eyes and bashful smiles. "Oh my god," Florence says suddenly. "I just realized that I brought you coffee and bagels and you literally own a coffee shop. That was supposed to be way more special."

"Flo, the fact that you cared enough to bring me coffee and bagels is all that matters. That makes it more special than you could possibly imagine. Stop being a dork," I laugh.

"So is Syd okay?"

"Honestly, I don't know. I'm trying to get her into the doctor's office for a check-up but-"

I'm cut off by my phone going off and I pick it up to check the lock screen, which is a picture of Syd attempting to play my guitar.

Dad: The flight is landing soon. See you and peanut at eleven!

"Oh, shit," I exclaim.

"What's wrong?"

"My dad is coming today. Crap, I totally forgot I have to pick him up. I can't deal with this right now," I sigh, running my hands over my face.

"Hey, everything will be fine," Flo comforts me, running her hand over my back. "I know family can be stressful, but you can handle it. And if you can't, then you can call me or Scarlett or Lizzie and we'll come rescue you. And by now I know that Ash always has your back."

"Thank you, Flo. I appreciate it. There's just a lot of history tied to him and everything back home, and as bad as it is, I just wish I could leave it all behind. When I see him, the only thing I can think of is being disowned by a whole damn town."

"I'm so sorry, Y/N. You wanna run away? If we leave now, I bet we can make it out of New York before his flight lands," she jokes with a smirk.

"As amazing as that sounds, I don't think that would be very responsible parenting."

"Hey, what time will he be at the airport? Maybe we can ride together."

"His flight lands at eleven. Are you sure? I don't wanna mess up your plans or anything."

"Darling, you're always welcome to mess up my plans. I'll have my driver bring my bags and meet us at the airport. If that's alright with you, of course?"

"Yeah, yes, that's more than okay with me."

"Okay. Cool."

"Cool."

Our idiotic smiling is cut off by the pattering of small feet coming down the hall. "Momma? Who are you talking to?" Syd asks as she enters the living room.

"Florence is here, honey. You wanna say hi?"

She approaches the couch and climbs up, sitting on my lap. She waves to Florence before pulling her blanket around her shoulders. "Hi, Florence. I puked in my bed."

"Syd, she doesn't need to know that," I sigh, shaking my head.

"Well I brought magical bagels that will make you feel better," Florence tells her in a whisper, like it's some big secret. 

"Bagels?" Syd asks cutely, her interest now piqued. "With cream cheese?"

"Of course with cream cheese! What kind of monster would I be if I didn't bring cream cheese?"

~

"Text me when your flight lands, okay?" 

"The second I land. I swear it."

We're standing in the middle of the airport, saying goodbye before we part ways. Florence is wearing a low hat in an attempt to disguise herself, and she looks utterly adorable.

"Good luck with your photoshoot," I say.

"Good luck with your father." There's an awkward moment of silence, both of us wanting to hug goodbye but knowing we can't in public. Stupid, stupid boyfriends. She offers a small wave before turning around and walking towards her gate.

I walk back out of the airport holding Syd's hand to keep her close. We move the car to the front and wait for my dad to come. Within a few minutes, he's walking through the doors.

"Grandpa! Over here!" Syd yells. He looks over with a big smile on his face as he approaches the car.

"Hey, peanut," he greets her, picking her up and spinning her in a giant hug.

"Hey, sweetheart," he addresses me.

"Hi, Dad. How was the flight?"

"It was alright. I like your car."

"Yeah, thanks." That ends our conversation. We don't hug. I've distanced myself from him and he knows it, but we both know that it's his and my mother's fault.

The drive home is spent in silence, except for the few times Syd pipes up with a random fact from the backseat.

When we get to the apartment, Dad looks around with a seemingly proud look on his face. This is the first time he's been to this apartment. He's only been to the shitbox we used to live in.

"You've done well for yourself, Y/N. I'm proud of you," he says, low enough that Syd can't hear.

"Yeah, well, I didn't exactly have much of a choice, did I?"

A grimace crosses his face, and I briefly regret saying it. But he's lucky I'm even letting him around his granddaughter after the shit he and Mom pulled. 

"You have no idea how sorry I am, Y/N-"

"It's fine, Dad. Let's just drop it. You're probably hungry. I'll cook some lunch."

He agrees, and I move to the kitchen. I put on some music as I cook and listen to the faint sounds of Sydney playing with my dad. At least she has one grandparent, even if it's rocky. That's the only reason I haven't cut off contact with him. Or maybe I'm just overreacting. Maybe I was the one in the wrong.

~

You were never even wrong in the first place, right?

Yeah, I'ma just ignore you.

Walkin' towards you with my head down

Lookin' at the ground, I'm embarassed for you

Paranoia, what did I do wrong this time?

That's parents for you.

Very loyal? Shoulda had my back

But you put a knife in it

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