Her Song (Florence Pugh)

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FIVE YEARS AGO

I walk through the halls of my childhood home with my head held down. I know that both of my parents are in the living room. I'm dreading this conversation, but I know I don't have a choice. This isn't just about me anymore.

I walk into the living room and they barely pay me any attention as I stand anxiously in front of the couch upon which they sit.

"Mom? Dad? We need to talk," I finally say, swallowing thickly as they gaze at me with anxious curiosity.

"About what?" my mom asks.

"A few weeks ago, s-something happened and I didn't know how to tell you, but Mark Lucas...he, um, he did...things to me. I've been feeling sick lately so I took a test and...I'm pregnant."

It's silent for a minute. I can see the anger swelling on my parents' faces. For just a flicker of a moment, I stupidly believe they're angry at Mark for what he's done to me.

"You had sex with Mark Lucas? God, Y/N, I thought we raised you better than this," my moms spits with disgust. "You're too young for this. And now you're knocked up. I'm calling the doctor in the morning and we're going to get rid of this mistake of yours as soon as possible."

My eyebrows furrow in confusion as tears well in my eyes. "What? Mom, I didn't have sex with him-"

"Oh really? Because I'm pretty sure that's how a girl gets pregnant. By whoring herself out to the star football player," my mom yells. The vein is popping out of her neck. My dad remains silent.

"No, you aren't listening to me," I sob. "I didn't have sex with him. He- he made me do it, Mom. Dad," I pleaded. "You have to believe me, please."

They stare at me in silence. My mother's face has been taken over by a foreign expression of disgust. My father clenches his jaw. I can't tell what he's thinking.

"Quit lying, Y/N. If you're old enough to have sex, then you're old enough to own up to your mistakes instead of blaming them on someone else. I mean, rape? Did you honestly think that you could get away with accusing the town's golden boy of rape? First I find out you're a slut and now I find out that you're just a fucking idiot," my mother mutters.

"Mom," my voice cracks, shaking my head in shock at her words. "I promise I didn't have sex with him. He made me. I don't even- I don't even like guys that way. I like girls. Mom, Dad, please, you have to believe me," I beg, my chest shaking with sobs.

My father scoffs. It's the first time he's really reacted, and my eyes are instantly glued to him to see what happens. "So first you're sleeping with jocks like a whore, then you're pregnant, and now you're a dyke? What the fuck are you trying to do, Y/N? You're going to tear this family apart," my father snaps.

"Pack your bags and get out," my mother instructs coldly.

"What?" I breathe.

"Pack your bags and get out. You're no longer welcome under my roof. I won't have you ruining my reputation in this town. If you figure out how to stop lying and repent for your sins, maybe we'll consider letting you come back," she finishes

I stand there, frozen in place. This can't be happening right now. I look to my dad for help, but his eyes look just as hateful. I spin on my heels and run up to my room to pack my bags.

I'm out of the house within twenty minutes. I get in my cheap 1982 Chevy and drive to the edge of town. Sitting on the tailgate, I watch as the sun slowly disappears behind the trees.

"I guess it's just you and me now, huh?" I whisper to the little life growing inside my belly. "But that's okay. We don't need those assholes. I'll take care of you, you little Satanist. I promise. I'll keep you safe."

PRESENT DAY

"Get the fuck out. I don't want you around my kid."

"What? Y/N, don't be ridiculous. I'm your father," he tries to convince me.

"Not anymore. I'm done. I already have all the family I need."

"My flight doesn't leave until Saturday," he scoffs.

"So stay at a hotel. It's gotta be easier than trying to find an apartment at 16," I snap. "Pack up and get out. You have fifteen minutes."

I head to Syd's room and close the door behind me, leaning against it and taking a deep breath.

"You didn't want me to know about my dad, did you?" Syd asks quietly. I sigh and sit on the floor next to her.

"I...It's complicated, honey. But no, I didn't plan on telling you about him. He wasn't a good person."

"Did you love him?"

"No. I didn't."

"Well, that's okay. We don't need him," she states. "As long as we have each other, we'll be okay."

"Yeah, we'll be just fine," I sniffle quietly. "I'll always take care of you, you little Satanist. I'll keep you safe."

"I'll keep you safe too, Momma. Is Grandpa going to leave?"

"Yeah, baby, he is. Are you upset?"

She hesitates, thinking it over. "No. He's fun, but he makes you sad, and I don't like when you're sad."

I let out a watery laugh, silent tears now flowing freely down my face. Syd notices and frowns, crawling into my lap. She wipes the tears off my cheeks and kisses my forehead, the same way I've always done it for her.

"Don't cry, Momma. We'll be okay."

"I love you, Sydney. You know that, right?"

"I know. I love you too, Momma."