eleven

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what do you want me to feel
c h a m p a g n e p r o b l e m s





















Only a few days had passed since Dream and George's drama on Twitter.

And it had been a few more than that since the last time they had spoken to one another.

Even on stream they were silent to one another. Lilith tried to ease the situation; she fluidly bounced between each of the boys during games and didn't mention the other to one. It was hard, to say the least. The boys were obviously close friends, and Lilith's heart broke for Dream. Why did everything have to be so hard? Why did it have to be complicated? Without their fallout, life was already hard. It seemed like each corner of Lilith's life ignited in a small flame.

Sooner than later each corner would meet in the middle and everything would fade to black.

"You know," Corpse said. "The last time you said someone was hot it was me."

"Oh my god get your head out of your ass. I just—"

"You just what? See a photo of a hot actor... who is it—"

"Oh stop it, I'm uncomfortable now."

"You're the one who brought it up."

"Well, yeah! Look at him! Weren't you the one to say that you would admit if you thought a boy was attractive even though you're straight?"

"Yes but first, he's average I suppose and second, I'm still on about when you called me hot." Lilith's heart skipped yet another beat. He was right; she did call him hot. There's different types of hot, right? There's celebrities that are hot. Generically, objectively hot. But then there's friends and people in your same friend group and cicle in life that make your stomach twist and head swarm with dirty thoughts and wishes that should stay left unspoken, right?

"Yeah but you're really holding onto that when I haven't even seen you in person?"

The silence on the other end was dibilitating.

"And I'll hold onto it until I feel like I don't want to anymore."

"Okay," she replied with her throat swollen tight. That twisted tone on hs tongue left a bad taste in her mouth and she needed to take a second to look away from the screen. So many mixed signals were sent her way with that one simple sentence. Corpse liked it when she called him hot, he liked it when they practically had sex over discord, he liked it when she assumed he wanted to actually fuck her in real life, but then he averted the topic of meeting in real life. "I—I was just saying that if you wanted to we should meet."

"I guess we'll figure that out when we get there." Okay. Lilith could keep playing his game, but she didn't know how long she would be able to last. It had only been a couple weeks and her heart already felt let down. How dare she feel jealous, though. While the majority of their friends had already met him, Lilith was the one who knew him a lot deeper. The conversations following their steamy nights were no doubt something they shared in private with only one another. Corpse wouldn't go around speaking the way he did. If he had told Tina these things, surely he wouldn't talk to Lilith and vice versa.

"Why would you say it like that?" She mumbled as she recounted the sharpness in his tone.

"Lilith—" He sighed but she didn't want to hear anymore.

"Corpse, can't we talk about something else?" The pause on the other side amplified her aprehension. It felt like with every minute she spent with him that passed, her anxiety revolving around him increased. Communication was key, right? Lilith was unsure. Perhaps it was key to save her from unneccesary heartache, but she also didn't want to lose the scandelous things they had already been doing.

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