thirty three

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can you still love us when you don't know who you are
c h a m p a g n e p r o b l e m s

















All night, morning, and day the three were in his bed. Sleeping, touching, talking; they did it all and Lilith had never felt more complete in her life. Nothing compared to two men she liked—perhaps loved—deeply.

It was later in the day. Each of them had taken turns sporadically wandering around the apartment to change, shower, or drink. Her head was still so incredibly fuzzy and Lilith's daze still hadn't fully left; every time she lay back in bed with them the overwhelming feelings returned. She barely said a word all day but she knew she never felt happier or safer than in his bed. The hoodie around her kept her warm and focused enough to fill her water bottle in the kitchen; the hood over her unkept curls tricked her body into thinking it was still twisted under layers of blankets and arms.

"Hi." She smiled as she felt his hands slowly move around her waist.

"Hi." As if she didn't wake up under him.

"Dream's in the shower. Are you hungry?"

"I think we all are," she laughed. It neared twenty four hours since their arrival and none of them had eaten a bite of food yet.

"I was thinking instead of ordering, we can go somewhere." Lilith turned to him, her head moved to the side in surprise.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," Corpse replied with a smile. As he too grabbed water, she took a step back out of his way and arched him as she drank from the straw quickly. She didn't realize how thirsty she was even though Dream grabbed water for her right as she was about to fall asleep the night prior. As he grabbed his medications, she set the bottle down on the counter next to him. He made a small noise when she took her turn and wrapped her arms around his waist. Lilith wondered how this feeling could ever end. She pressed her face into the softness of his hoodie and soaked in his warmth. Living alone had never felt so wrong.

"Wow, what are we doing?" Lilith looked behind them, Corpse turned as well, and she laughed when she saw Dream's puppy eyes enter the room. Corpse made a small noise as well but he drank more water. Lilith soaked in his appearance; wet hair curlier and darker than it was when it dried contrasted with his lighter skin. Her heart leapt in its place as she couldn't tear her eyes from the various violet bruises across his neck and chest.

"What's wrong?" She asked in a childish tone. "Sad we weren't still laying down?"

"A little," he sighed. Lilith smiled and pulled away from Corpse. Dream kissed her face before he stole her water bottle and drank from it as well.

For the first time in a while, as Lilith stood with them in the brightness of the late afternoon kitchen, she wasn't overcome with the anxiety that this would one day end. It took a few seconds for her to yank herself out off her daze; the sound of their voices and he image of the two talking sent her into a spiraling trance. For a second, it felt like she made it. Made it out alive. Made it to a new chapter in her life full of hope; Lilith didn't have an ounce of anxiety for the first time in a while.

"Would you want to, Lilith?"

"What?" She asked as she looked at Dream in the eyes. Corpse also looked at her although he smiled widely at her response.

"Not a thought behind those eyes, hm?"

"Shut up," she laughed. Dream rose his hand to her and she tried to back away, but instead he grabbed her quickly and kissed her face and neck.

"We're going to go out," he told her. And she hummed against him as his breath warmed her already sticky with humid sweat skin.

Lilith couldn't bear to take off her sweatshirt; she simply pulled on new cotton shorts and untangled her hair before she left the bedroom to hunt down her shoes. She wasn't sure where the majority of her things were considering the haphazard way they all dumped themselves in his apartment the night they arrived. Chills raced down her arms and neck at the memory of both of them pinning her to the wall next to the front door the moment it was locked. As she tied the last of her hi-tops, she looked up when Corpse walked from the hallway. Her head turned to the side in surprise as she noticed the black hat that sat backwards on his hair.

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