Target (Romanogers Fanfic)

Chapter 17

After the... incident. Natasha and Steve stayed up and watched the sunrise. Natasha's head leaned on Steve's shoulder. "We should probably go. Everyone's going to start waking up soon. And if are still up they'll think we were hooking up." Natasha suddenly said but made no issue to leave. Steve nodded.

"Have you ever wondered what happens to those soldiers?" Steve asked. "Those soldiers who died fighting for something they believed in. They died so that we could live. We have to honour them. We can't their sacrifice go to waste." Natasha answered. Steve pursed his lips and tightly nodded.

"I chose to run towards my problems and not away from them because that's what heroes do," Steve said.

Natasha smiled weakly. "Maybe it's easier to run away instead of dealing with it because, in the end, you end up dealing with it anyway. You never know when you're going to be ready for it so that's why I end up doing it."

Steve looked at Natasha. And she looked at him. "Once you start running, they'll never let you stop. You stand up, push back. Can't say no forever right?" Steve said. Natasha nodded. "Right."

Steve smiled. Again that annoying ass smile. Natasha grinned. Her smile was positively feline. Dangerous as hell and lethal as fuck.

Natasha looked at Steve. "Did you ever wish for kids? I want a dog. Maybe travel"

"Where are you gonna go?" Steve asked.

"I don't know. I don't have anywhere to go back to, so I guess anywhere." Natasha said plainly. Steve nodded.

"Don't." Natasha suddenly said.

"Don't what?" Steve asked confused.

Natasha chuckled. "You're going to give me some big hero speech, I can feel it. And If you're about to tell me to look on the bright side, I'm about to hit you in the face. With a chair."

Steve relented, letting down his facade. "Sorry. Force of habit." Natasha sighed and shook her head looking down. "I don't know how you do it." She muttered. "I guess I don't know how not to." 

"Me, neither," Natasha said. After a long moment, Steve looked up at her, honest.

"This was an invitation." Steve hinted.

"To go to Germany and kill Schmidt?" Natasha asked.

"Yeah."

Even though the HYDRA compound is impossible to find and Red Skull is too slippery to kill?"

"Yeah," Steve repeated.

"That sounds like a shitload of work." Natasha pointed out.

"Yup." Steve sighed. "Could be fun, though." He said hopefully.

"Yup," Natasha said quietly.

They were silent.

"You know what I think?" Natasha suddenly said.

"What?" Steve asked.

"You're going to fall in love one day." She paused. Hesitating before saying the next line. "Even if it's not with me."

Steve looked at her. His eyebrows furrowing. "I. Will. Always. Choose. You."

Natasha smiled sadly. "You say that now. But you don't know the things I've done. The people I've killed." She said quietly. "No..." Steve sighed, changing his position to face directly at Natasha. 

"But I know that you are trying to do better. And I know that your ledger must be dripping just gushing with red—" Natasha cut Steve off. "Okay! Okay! I get it." She said covering her ears. Steve looked at her his face softened. "—But I know that you're willing to wipe it out. You may think you are too damaged and too broken to ever allow yourself to be happy but you chose differently. And that's the silver lining."