As Ready As I'll Ever Be

Chapter 47

~Brielle's POV~
-January-
Today is my 25 week appointment. Alyssa can't go because she has shift, so Addilynn wanted to come. She doesn't have to go back to college for 2 more weeks, so she's still in Chicago.

My appointment is at 10am.
I was getting ready and eating a quick breakfast.
Then I heard a knock at the door.
"Hey! I got ready an hour early on accident, so I thought I would come over with some breakfast!" She said, holding up a bag from a bagel shop we haven't been to in years.

"Hey! OMG we haven't been their in years!" I laughed.
"Yes! They don't have this shop in Jersey!" She laughed.
"Where do you go to college again in Jersey?" I asked her.
"New Jersey City University. Layla and I dorm there." She said.

"Oh nice. So you're still in like a city area." I said.
"Yea but me and Layla go to New York a lot too. It's really fun there." She said.
We ate and then we went to Med.

"How many weeks are you again?" She asked me.
"25 weeks." I said.
"I know with twin pregnancies, the babies can sometimes come early. Do you think that will happen?" She asked me.

"I'm not sure... it is a big possibility, so we'll have to see. I really want to make it to at least 32-34 weeks. But I'm past the viability date already... I just don't want them to end up in the NICU." I said.
"Don't worry they won't. It was a stupid question for me to ask, I'm sorry, don't stress." She told me.

"No... it's ok.. I just worry everyday..." I said.
"Worry about what?" She asked.
"Every little kick or cramp always scares me... every-time I get nauseous, I'm so scared that I'll just start throwing up blood again... I'm just absolutely terrified of having another miscarriage... waiting for each appointment to hear the heartbeats..." I said.

"Listen Bri... it's ok... you don't want to stress too much..." Addilynn told me.
"Thanks... let's head over to the firehouse after this appointment, I promised Alyssa I would go over to give her the info I got." I said.

We got to Med.
"Hey! I can take you back now!" Natalie said once she saw me walk in.
We went to a room.
"Ok so.. how've you been? Have they been active?" Natalie asked as she set up the ultrasound machine.
"Been doing ok... and they've been crazy active.. baby boy is just nestled up in my ribs and baby girl is always just in the middle or lower part." I said.

"Well, that's good, we like to see movement. How is everything else with you? Body aches? Hormones?" She asked.
"My body is always sore. And my hormones don't have an off switch... and I'm just constantly worried about miscarriaging again... every cramp and nauseous feeling always spikes my heart rate..." I said.

"Well... I know it's hard for you.. but you really need to keep your stress and heart rate down... listen to music, watch a show... just try and keep your mind on something else." She told me.
"Yea.. I try... can we hear the heart beats now?" I asked.

She turned on the machine and got the gel on my stomach.
She rubbed the wand around my stomach.
"Ok.. here is baby girl's heartbeat.." Natalie said.
"It's it a bit fast? Looks it's getting faster!" I said, listening to the heartbeat.

"Bri... calm down..." Addilynn put her hand my shoulder.
"Brielle, the baby's heartbeat is rising because yours is." Natalie told me, showing me my heart rate and baby girl's.

"Can we hear his heart beat now?" I asked, pointing to where baby boy is.
"Ok... here is his..." she said. I listened it his heart beat.
"It's a little fast because yours is... just take some deep calm breaths." Addilynn told me.
"Your sister is right Brielle..." Natalie told me.

I tried taking some breaths, but I was so shaky because I'm constantly just worried about the pregnancy. I was tearing up and had my hands now on my face, covering it. I was feeling just an overwhelming feeling of anxiety that I just couldn't shake off.
"I'll come back in a few minutes after she settles down." I heard Natalie whisper to Addilynn.