[ Chapter 11 ]

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Content Warnings:

•Strong Language
•Violence
•Anxiety
•Blood
•Death
•Vomit
•Panic
•Guns

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Sensitive content is present in this chapter, please read at your own discretion.

Flashback

After turning sixteen, your final day of attendance at the Girls Home approached very quickly. With many years of attending to learn basic skills you could provide for your family, you had somehow managed to succeed, even if you felt like you couldn't do most of the things very well. Between cooking, sewing, laundry, and the like, you really only enjoyed (insert chore) the most. With Tamara's guidance, she was very gifted at those talents, yet, you still struggled to learn from her due to her odd personality. You had observed your peers and their process during class, which was much different, compared to your experience.

However, you made it over it years, and learned enough to make everyone proud of your progress. Had you never went, you would have the cooking skills of your father, who always managed to burn something. You didn't particularly care for such boring activities and you were grateful to be done, and begin your own life with new skills.

You even got a mini-graduation because of your accomplishments, a tad embarrassed to be celebrated for such minimal things. You remembered Mrs. Akimoto's wide smile before you left. She had been so helpful to you and your family over the years and after, since you were best friends with her daughter. In a way, she felt like your mother as well but you would never say so out loud. She was Katsumi and Miyuki's mother, no one else's. Especially yours. However, you were still close with her. She stood up for you as much as Katsumi did. When you got into small arguments with your father, she went out of her way to make you at home under her own roof. She was always the mediator when it came to those disputes, somehow managing to find a way to communicate for the both of you when you couldn't understand how the other felt.

For that, you would always be grateful for everything she had done. Her family was an extension of your own. The day Miyuki and Tristan announced their relationship, it was all falling into place. Perhaps, one day, your families would officially be joined. Only one could dream, it seemed. A dream you and Katsumi always discussed at weekly sleepovers, giggling about the silly idea. Although, it was not too far-fetched.

Flashback End

The day had been excruciatingly long, hardly a word leaving your mouth for the remainder of daylight hours. Absolutely sick to your stomach, you couldn't eat, let alone look at food without feeling nauseous. Guilt and agony were still looming about, numbing all other emotions so they can be the dominant drivers. No one knew what to do for you, feeling absolutely helpless at this time. You only felt comfortable alone, anyway, considering you have the tendency to isolate yourself when things go haywire.

Spending the rest of the day in your room until nightfall, you sit in utter silence, unable to focus on a single thought as they come and go in the blink of an eye. There's so much on your mind, all circling back to one common denominator. Guilt. Had you been more careful, none of this would have happened. Your comrades wouldn't be in danger, the citizens of the Walls wouldn't hate you, and most importantly, your brother would still be alive. He still hasn't come through to you in a vision or in person as an apparition, confusing you as to why he wouldn't want to visit yet. Maybe he's scared to upset you, considering he's always been the one person to acknowledge your feelings and put them first. If that is the reason, its not out of character.

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