𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐖𝐈𝐍 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐗 ✓

05: THE WORDS OF A WOUNDED HEART

"Only if, I knew what my fault was?"

...

Figuring out the criteria for a "beautiful demise" can be quite the conundrum. Does it involve leaving this realm painlessly, sparing others from any hassles, avoiding an unattractive cadaver, or just looking absolutely fabulous while saying your goodbyes? Frankly, the boundary between how we shuffle off this mortal coil and the sorry state of our corpses blends together like a watercolor painting left out in the rain. And let's not even start delving into the idea of extending death to encompass your grand vision of disposing of yourself. Trust me, my friend, that path only leads to utter chaos.

...

Bailey wasn't locked up; she chose to stay secluded. Moving out of the college dorm of her and Reiko's room, she moved into her and Tobias's apartment. She knew Yoshi wouldn't try to contact her, not because he didn't love her, but for the sake of her decision. No matter how strong they appeared, they were losers when it came to their love, which was soft and fragile. Yet, staying there would mean seeing him, breaking them both a little more than they already were.

She was a melancholy genius, completely immersed in it, discerning its many strands and embracing its intricacies. She was a prism through which the endless rainbow of despair could be dissected into endless temperaments.

She'd nurtured her feelings for him since the summer they first met. She'd turned her back on life in order to accomplish this. She survived on water and air for days at a time. She should have a species named after her because she is the only known complex life-form capable of doing so. To paint a leaf, you must give up the entire scene. At first, it may appear that you are restricting yourself, but after a while, you realise that having a quarter-inch of something gives you a greater chance of retaining a certain sense of the cosmos than pretending to do the entire sky.

"Bailey?" Pulling her away from her stranded thoughts, the voice made its way to her ears. Turning back to find Tobias standing at the door, she forced a smile at her brother, "Yes, Tobi."

"Coffee?"

She nodded softly, eyeing Tobias as he approached, passing her the cup and settling next to her, yet the silence never died down. It was too loud and too painful.

"Is it good?" he ventured cautiously; his voice barely audible. He tried to break the uneasy breath of silence lingering for days now. But she just nodded, her lips in a curve as her eyes retreated to the tiny droplets, she had been eyeing for hours now.

Silence, synonymous with puddles and oceans of words, perhaps emotions. But it was their only refuge; Tobias knew no word to soothe his little sister. He knew he was hurting her, but it was better to be hurt now than to face the consequences later.

"Bailey, want some cake?" she denied.

"I know it hurts, maybe a lot too much. But it is for your good, trust me." It was more like a question to himself. What if he couldn't keep his only sister happy?

She took her time tracing a rolling drop over the glass, her fingers trailing all along its course of fall until it reached the edge, scattering into a puddle, just like they fell slowly, and now were nothing but scattered drops of loneliness.

"I do, I trust you Tobi..."

And it was a promise to herself that Tobias would never do anything to hurt her, never.