That Ol' Wind

Chapter 2: Katniss

I remember it like it was yesterday. I was eighteen and enjoying the Autumn weather after our Senior year and being carefree with my friends, Johanna and Annie, before we had to be swept away to college and life, when I heard an announcement on the radio saying my favorite singer, Peeta Mellark, would be performing for one night only at the county fair. I was ecstatic. It said he would be signing autographs and taking pictures and talking to his fans. I would finally meet him. The boy who absolutely fascinated and filled half my album collection on the shelf in my bedroom. The boy who's music had helped me get off my father's death.

My friends urged me to go. They knew that this was a once in a life chance for me to meet him. When else was he going to travel to this one horse town. They helped me but a ticket and five hours later, I was standing in the front row of my favorite artist's show. He sang all my favorite songs and my heart kept beating loudly in my chest whenever the handsome blonde haired blue eyed boy looked in my eyes and smiled as he sang. He kept smiling at me and winking and eventually he pulled me on stage. He told me of all the girls he'd seen on all his tours, I was by far the only one who had sang all his songs word for word perfectly and in perfect time with him. He held my hand and sang If Tomorrow Never Comes, one of my favorite of his songs, to me as I stood on stage next to him. When he finished, he kissed my cheek and whispered in my ear, "Please do me the honor of meeting me backstage after this is all over my little Mockingjay."

I pulled away and only nodded and he carefully helped me off the stage and I sank back into the crowd. He sang a few more songs and then left the stage. I was waiting in line with the rest of the people and when it came to me, he pulled me aside and told his manager he was done and wanted to get back to his bus. His manager grumbled something I didn't understand and Peeta led me to the bus.

"I'm honored that you want to speak to me Mr. Mellark," I say as I sit down on a couch and Peeta shuts the door behind us.

"Please, I'm only 18. Call me Peeta," he chuckles as he settles himself next to me.

"Okay, but may I ask why you wanted to meet me?" I ask him.

"Because you're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen darling. I've been in the road for so long, and I've never seen a little wildflower like you, um sorry, I forgot to get your name," he say awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck. I laugh at him, because with out the lights and the screaming fans, the boy in front of me seems like any other teenager. In fact he probably is.

"I'm Katniss, Katniss Everdeen," I say holding out my hand. He takes it and I expect him to shake it, but instead he kisses it.

"So Katniss, what drew you to my little show tonight," he asks, still holding my hand in his.

"Your music. You always tell a story with every song. You put so much emotion into your words and I just love it. The River helped me get over my father's death. I'd already been struggling over that for about five years before that, but when I heard you sing it on the radio, I sang along and I just felt safe, like I could overcome anything," I say, unable to stop myself from telling him everything, some things my friends didn't even know.

"I'd like to hear that," he says taking a sip of water.

"Hear what Peeta?" I ask him and I watch him pick up a guitar.

"Hear you sing my River," he says and I just stare at him.

"Oh no, I don't sing professionally like you. I sound dreadful," I tell him.

"Think of it as a favor. I just sang for you, now I'd like you to sing for me," he says and starts strumming to the tune of The River. Unable to back out, I begin to softly sing and as I gain confidence, it gets louder.

"You know a dream is like a river
Ever changin' as it flows
And a dreamer's just a vessel
That must follow where it goes
Trying to learn from what's behind you
Never knowing what's in store
Makes each day a constant battle
Just to stay between the shores

I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try
So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry

To many times we stand aside
Let the waters slip away
'Til what we put off 'til tomorrow
Has now become today
So don't you sit upon the shoreline
And say you're satisfied
Choose to chance the rapids
And dare to dance the tide

I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try
So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry

And there's bound to be rough waters
And I know I'll make some falls
But with the good Lord as my captain
I can make it through them all

I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try
So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry

Yes I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry,

'Til the river runs dry,"

"That was amazing Katniss. You sang that song like you believed it," Peeta says.

"I do. I believe there's something worth fighting for," I say. "And you're the one who made me believe it."

He leans in and so do I and we kiss slow and passionately. I don't know how it came to this. I know it was foolish and stupid to do this. He was meant to walk away when the morning came, but I didn't care. I was in love from the moment I saw him smile at me and the way he looked at me I knew he felt the same.

One thing lead to another and I later found us laying next to each other naked in his bed. We lay there in silence and he gently stroked my hair.

"Katniss, you and I both know what happens next, but it doesn't have to be that way," he says.

"There's no avoiding it Peeta, you're leaving in a few hours and I'm not going with you," I say.

"You could. You could come with me and we could tour the country together. We can sing together and live a happily ever after on a tour bus," he says.

"I can't do that Peeta. I have my sister and my mother here. I have to take care of them. No one else can," I say with tears in my eyes. We lay in silence for a few hours and just as the light starts seeping through the window, there's a knock on the bus door.

"Mr. Mellark, we're leaving in fifteen minutes," someone says and I immediately shoot up and start getting dressed. When I gather all my things, I run to the door and step out of it. Peeta follows me, somehow having gotten dressed while I was scrambling.

"Katniss please, come with me!" he yells after me and he grabs my arm turning me to face him. Tears stream down my face, knowing the happily ever after he described only happens in Fairy tales.

"I'm sorry Peeta. This never should have happened. Im glad it did, but wasn't supposed to happen. We weren't meant to be. Just please forget about me and live your life Peeta," I cry and he lifts my chin so I face him.

"I don't want to forget," he says and I see the tears in his eyes, the pain evident.

"I'm sorry," I whisper and I kiss his cheek and do the most shameful thing ever. I run away from my dreams.

I still remember the pain of my heart splitting in two as I ran from him. I remember the tears in his eyes as he pleaded with me. I remember the tears I cried when I found out I was carrying Peeta's child and all those nights that only his voice soothed his son to sleep when I played him on the CD player.

The love we built that night never left me. And it never will. I've always regretted not going with him. He's never known Joey. He never witnessed his sons first steps or wiped away his tears when he got a skinned up knee from trying to ride a bike. I robbed Peeta of his son by not going with him.

And I'll never forgive myself for that.