[Secret Secret] A SKZ Story

[Chapter 21: Silent Cry]

"Did you ever wondered how did Chan was able to find and put all of you in one group? I mean, all have some kind of weird supernatural ability... And he even befriended me."

"I know that, and I can one up you on that." Jisung was opposite her, laying between Minho's arms, playing with his fingers.

They were in one of the practice rooms, sitting on the wooden floor in different positions. They didn't understand personal space and neither did she. Allyson was mimicking Han, between Changbin's arms, turning his rings absentmindedly.

It's been a month since their second kiss, but it felt just right to be next to him. As close as possible. Though there were no more kisses.

"Did you ever wonder why you didn't ask that before?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Ohhhh, I don't. I got you another... Did you know one of my band mates is into Lix?"

Said boy rose his head wide eyed like a deer caught in the highlights. Hyunjin held him down and started chanting on English

"Aye! Felix, the heart robber!"

"How are we, Chan?" She screamed at the leader, that was once again sat in front of his laptop.

"A few more minutes and the video is out!" He clapped like a five year old.

Ally turned and smiled.

"Nervous?" Changbin asked.

She turned in his arms "Evidently! Now it's up to luck... Now: answers!" She looked at Han again. In she had kept her eyes on Changbin, she wouldn't be able to not kiss him. Apparently they weren't ready for that kind of affection display in front of other people, but hugs were okay... And she was definitely not ready any kind of step further. Hands to herself then. She hated being that needy of affection but just couldn't help it. Lee Know laughed, lightly shaking his head.

"I'll answer the first one." Chan spoke. "I have a good smell sense. Like really really good. People with abilities just smell different, I don't know."

"Then you're a hound dog!" Seungmin mocked and they all laughed briefly.

"I got the second." Lee Know spoke caressing Han's hair. She didn't dare to ask him if they were actually together-together. They were an odd pair, but if they were happy just like that, she didn't saw the need to question it. Maybe that's why before Han never took her hints. Now it didn't matter. Minho had been silent the whole day. It was scary. Or maybe he was just tired.

Han interrupted him "He makes us loose our train of thought, like avoid topics and stuff. Like..."

"Like 'these are not the droids you're looking for'? That's a Jedi thing, man. I'm kinda pissed, but it's cool, it's cool." Allyson followed the conversation making the gestures with her right arm.

"Yeah! That's what I always say!" Han high-fived her and got all serious and smirked raising an eyebrow. "Now, about Felix...?"

The deep voiced man tried hard to escape again his teammates, because now even Jeonjin and Seungmin were holding onto him.

"Oh, I don't think I should tell." She sing-songed let her arms fall on Changbin's legs on each side of her. She could definitely get used to this. She was way more clingy that she had expected.

"Hey! That's not how this game's rules goes!" Jisung whined as he and Minho got closer to held Felix down too.

"What rules? You're just making things up!"

"Haha! I'm not! Now spill!"

"Jeon Suho..." She waited for the reaction. There was none. They didn't even tease him. Maybe they didn't care if it was a fanboy or maybe she was a terrible liar "You're no fun. It's actually Jeon Seah."

Chan was the first to say something.

"Aww, look at him! He's all red." He smiled like a proud father.

"Yah!"

"You should definitely give her a signed card!" She added.

"What about a collaboration? She has a great voice. It will definitely match his low tone... Something with an acoustic guitar." Chan added.

From his chair, he extended a hand to his distressed kid and in a moment all the members released him allowing him to get up.

Changbin slide away and got up. He extended a hand to her and Allyson also stood. Just in time, there was a knock at the door and Rosenrot entered with their hands filled with food.

That was the way.

They all stood around the laptop to listen the song. The first version had Changbin's rap.

Ally made sure to set Seah as close to Felix as possible. She hadn't noticed, but the boy was furiously blushing.

When it ended Minho whispered only to her. "Didn't know you also liked to play matchmaker..."

She shrugged "What can I say? Defying first impressions, they are so fluffy in the inside I feel like it could work." His deep from hell voice, with a soft and cute twice lover attitude and her 'I'm dark as my heart' concept but in reality she is butterflies and unicorns.. kinda match.

"We have to support our juniors. Let's take one group photo, shall we?" He said and started to give instructions for places. One photo turned into several taken by him and Seungmin in different ways. Both started directing people on and off. Mostly the whole band with Changbin, then by year of birth, then all the girls, then all the boys, and finally some extra selcas for sns.

Allyson had no idea how had he managed to make that happen. Those phones had gold stored in their memories.

-

- A week later -

"Hey!"

He touched her shoulder and she was started. She bumped the table and her pencil case emptied out and the contents rolled to the floor. She tried to catch some of them before they fell, but only hit herself as her guitar that was on her lap was about to reach the table when a slender hand intercepted the hit.

She couldn't even remember why she had the guitar today.

She took out her earphones and looked at the intruder that saved her guitar from a scratch.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to jump scare you"

Her lasts braincells had left apparently. That voice. How did one talk?

It's okay Seah. Breath in. Breath out. He's just a guy. A beautiful guy. He's just too precious for this world.

-
Once she was alone, something felt off.

It was late at night and the girls were asleep. Ally stood in her bed looking at the ceiling.

Its always been like that for her, it was a cycle. When things were good she didn't believe they would last.

Everything was going so smooth and good now she couldn't believe she deserved it. She felt unworthy of the friends she had acquired, of the man that held her and had kissed her, of the job she got, the band, of the family that loved her.

Those toxic thoughts were more and more frequent, but she had learnt to mask them in front of Minho. How could she bother him with her worries? They had a lot in their plate and he was a great friend.

She could be crying if she had any more tears to spare. She would cry for herself. For everything good that had to end, for the people that she would eventually let down. She would cry for the pain that she would feel once that everything good had come to an end and nobody would remembered her, but she would always remember. She loved them but she needed to step aside before she broke everything good.

She had to leave, to spare Changbin the pain that meant being close to her, before he got hurt.

-

A good story needs to have ups and downs, right?
Its always darkest before the dawn.