Dreaming /#FebruaryJamFestival/

9. Maybe you know the moment you have it

"That was fun," Jin picked up the smallest of the bags from the cashier as they headed out of the small store. "I hope you can deliver on your promise; I'm really looking forward to some stellar bibimbap!"

"You could have chosen something more difficult," Kwang smiled at Jin's childlike enthusiasm. Her melancholy mood had lightened as soon as he mentioned needing to buy rice. She began talking about her mother's bibimbap and decided that was what they had to have for dinner. Kwang had created various iterations of the traditional Korean rice dish while living in the US. It was always his day before shopping or the end of the month meal. Everything he had cooked and edible would be sauteed, seasoned, mixed with rice, and covered with an over-easy egg. Tasty and practical, this delicious dish of leftovers was the epitome of Korean practicality. One of his roommates called it Korean casserole, as he cleaned out bowl after bowl. Having never experienced a casserole, Kwang could only assume his friend was correct.

"I'm sure you will find a way to make it extraordinary!" Jin accused with a merry laugh. They had walked to the small market from the hospital, and his condo was only a few blocks further. Jin didn't seem to mind the walk and asked all sorts of questions about the buildings and businesses that lined their path.

"I will do my best," Kwang promised. He enjoyed this playful side of Jin; it reminded him of the girl he had met six years ago, though even then, he had only seen this side of her in glimpses. It seemed that these moments were windows into the woman Jin could have been. Kwang wondered what type of girl she would have become had her heart not given out on her that day or if her mother hadn't died before that.

"Don't you always?" Jin teased.

"No, not always, but usually." Kwang's answer was rewarded with a snort; this was a sound he hadn't heard from Jin before. Kwang liked it. They arrived at his building, and Kwang unlocked the lower gate. They ascended the small flight of stairs to his primary entrance. Kwang listened for any sound of distress from Jin. She must have been keeping her new heart very healthy. So far, Jin hadn't even broken a sweat.

Kwang's home had the light smell of recent cleaning. It was both reassuring and a bit embarrassing. He was sure Jin would know he had the condo cleaned just for her. Jin followed him in and put the bag on the kitchen counter before exploring the rest of his small home. He could have bought a house, but it had seemed a waste, and this condo was close to the hospital. Though a bit older, the previous owners had renovated it to a more modern open feel. His bedroom was on the second floor, behind a half wall that allowed some privacy and gave the illusion of more space. Kwang had some exercise equipment in a spare room under his bedroom, but his standing kitchen and the living room took up the rest of the floor. His mother had done most of the decorating when she visited from Gwangju. Kwang wondered if it would look too feminine to Jin.

"I love your place. It is so big and yet cozy. It doesn't look like it fits the outside at all." Jin said when she returned to the kitchen and helped him empty the vegetables and meat from the bags. Kwang had removed the rice first and started the cooker. He liked to let the rice sit a bit before serving it.

Jin turned out to be pretty good at preparing sauce and meat, but a bit of a disaster at cutting vegetables. They laughed about her sad attempts at carrot slivers and switched jobs. Finally, while they prepared dinner, they began to talk about themselves. Jin told how she had finished college and then gone to business school in Boston (she didn't mention Harvard, but Kwang knew that is where she went). She blamed her choice on Kwang's stories of his time in the beautiful colonial city.

"I've never been so cold in my life! I thought San Francisco was cold, but it has nothing on Boston."

"Oh, you haven't been in Seoul in January yet. Though there is not as much snow, it is definitely cold."