Dreaming /#FebruaryJamFestival/

21. The colors are there Are they the same though?

Jin already missed him. 

Kwang had heard her out, that should have been enough, but his cold eyes haunted her. Was there anything she could ever do to heal that pain? Jin mentally smacked herself. It wasn't his pain she wanted to heal; it was her own.

Nila walked into the karaoke room and sat next to her. She didn't put an arm around Jin, they were still more coworkers than friends, but her closeness comforted Jin.

"How did it go?" Nila inquired.

"Better than I should have expected, but not as well as I wished."

"It is a success that he listened to you at all. What you did was pretty unforgivable," Nila pointed out. It had taken a lot of time to heal her relationship with Nila after what she had done to Kwang. It was Nila's anger that finally penetrated Jin's self-deception long enough for her to realize that Kwang had been right. Whatever she told herself was the reason for breaking up with Kwang and becoming engaged to Yang, it was only half of the truth. It had been the easy way out.

"Yes, he listened," Jin acknowledged. "But I don't know how much it helped. He is still so angry."

"Well, wouldn't you be? You should have called him before the news broke. It was a bitch move for sure!"

"Nila," Jin growled. She allowed her assistant a lot of leeway, but name-calling was unacceptable.

"What? I'm not calling you a bitch, just saying that you acted like one." Nila waved her hands innocently.

"Fine line, Nila."

"What, you going to fire me? Just tell me beforehand, so I don't have to find out from human resources." Nila never pulled her punches, even when Jin was at her most vulnerable. This unwavering directness was what made Nila so valuable as an assistant, and Jin knew that. She wouldn't fire Nila, not over this.

"No, I'm not going to fire you. You're right. The fact that Kwang was even willing to unlock the door speaks to what kind of man he is." Jin stood up.

"Do you want me to call a car?"

"No, I'm going for a walk." Jin pulled the hat and mask off the table. She felt like a Kpop idol wearing them, but Michael had spies everywhere. She couldn't risk getting Kwang in trouble again.

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow. Don't forget you have dinner with Mr. Li tomorrow."

"Which one?" Jin asked as she put on the coat hanging next to the door.

"Your fiance, he's arriving from Thailand in the afternoon. You guys are having dinner tomorrow and then going to the fundraiser on Friday," Nila responded with a frown.

"Which fundraiser?" Jin's heart stopped.

"For the Arts Center, the Li family invests in."

"Oh, right." Jin nodded and walked out of the room with a wave. She walked past Bo-gum, who was waiting in the hallway, and waved at him too. Nila had an admirer in this young man. Jin wondered in passing what Nila would do about it.

The cool air of December in Seoul hit her face, reminding her to slip her mask on. Many people wore masks in Korea, so she didn't stand out as much as she would have in some parts of the US. Some of the businesses had started putting up Christmas lights. Even though this country had a minority of Christians, they still liked the commercial value of a long Christmas season. Jin had always loved looking at Christmas lights, but as she looked around, she felt a vague sense of dissatisfaction. The colors were all there, but they didn't seem the same.

She found herself at the edge of the Han River. Even at this time of night, couples admired the lights reflecting off the bridge while snuggling close. The sight of so many couples made her stomach sink even further. Would she ever feel that way about Yang?