Dreaming /#FebruaryJamFestival/

11. Remember that moment

"So he seems great," Nila observed as she settled into the car.

"Yes, he does," Jin responded airily and leaned her head back on the seat. Her mind drifted back to the night before. With Robert, the sex had been exciting and fun. With Kwang, it had been transcendent. Never, in her almost 30 years, had she felt so cherished. Not even her memories of being held by her mother could compare with the way Kwang held her. What she felt from him was so pure, no edges, no hesitation, no ulterior motivation. Jin worked hard to set every second of her time with Kwang into her memory. She had to remember that moment, every bit of it because she was definitely going to mess this up.

"So, um, you seem to like him," Nila prodded.

"I do," Jin answered with a sigh. "A lot."

"Well, that's good." Nila's voice conveyed the uncertainty of her statement. They both knew the tenuous nature of their time in Korea, and the way to save her mother's company was becoming apparent. Jin didn't like it, she didn't want to give up ownership to the Taiwanese company that courted her, but she also didn't like the alternative they had given her.

"Maybe the investor in Japan will work out," Nila reassured Jin. Her assistant always knew where her train of thoughts led. "And it will be a couple of months before we have to make any firm decisions."

"I should get out now," Jin declared. "Before I hurt him."

"Can you get out without hurting him now?" Nila questioned gently. "Can you get out without hurting you?"

"No," Jin responded, the joy of her interaction with her Dr. Ahn fading with the harsh reality of her life.

"You should call Ms. Lisa. She should be free for a little while before the kids get out of their last class," Nila pushed. Today was Friday in Korea, Thursday in San Francisco. Thursday afternoon Lisa helped coach a local high school in Oakland. She had found excellent talent volunteering around the bay with high schools, but Oakland was her favorite. Lisa always said it reminded her of where she grew up, though how Detroit and Oakland were alike escaped Jin, Lisa always dismissed her skepticism. '

"You've never been to the real Oakland, Jin, and you've certainly never been to Detroit," Lisa would tell her every time they discussed it. And Lisa was right. Jin had been raised with money, Lisa had not. Only the sponsorships that came along with an Olympic Silver medal gave Lisa the comfort level that Jin had lived with her whole life. Yet, Lisa never held that against Jin. They were best friends from the moment they entered the running camps together. Lisa had moved in with Jin to train with Beverly and had kept Jin human. Calling Lisa was like calling a sister or her conscious, and Jin wasn't sure she was ready for that.

Nila decided for her. "Ms. Brown, yes, this is Nila. Do you have a minute? Ms. Lancaster has something she should discuss with you but is debating if she wants to tell you. Right, I know she would call eventually, but we are on a tight schedule. Okay, can I hand the phone to her?" Nila pushed the mute button. "You know she will call right back if you refuse and then have to pay international rates because she refused to let us pay for the international plan for her." Guilt always worked on Jin when it came to Lisa, and Nila knew it. Jin pulled the phone out of her hand with a frown.

"So, did you go out with him finally?" Lisa asked as soon as Jin said hi.

"I did," Jin answered.

"And?"

"And I stayed the night," Jin laid her head on the headrest again. They would be at the train station soon.

"Well, that was fast," Lisa commented without condemnation.

"It has to be," Jin answered. "Or I'll lose my nerve. You know what is going on. You know what my dad wants."

"Fuck what your dad wants," Lisa growled. "What do you want?"