By My Side

Chapter 10 - Adjusting

"I've never done this before," Ahsoka remarks a bit nervously, kneeling across from Master Skywalker. It's a few days into her padawan-ship, and this is their first meditation session. They've already formed a bond, but Master Skywalker thought they ought to strengthen it since being in the war together could be highly risky. This will at least allow them to keep track of one another through the Force.

"Of course not," Master Skywalker replies. "Obi-Wan and I did this in the beginning. It can be a little overwhelming at first."

She assumes her and Master Kenobi will have to do the same later, but he's too busy with Council work right now. Even if he is technically also her master, Master Skywalker seems to be taking much of the lead roles. It isn't a surprise, given that Master Kenobi is on the Council and doesn't have much time to spend with a padawan. "What do I do?"

"Close your eyes," he instructs. "Feel my presence."

And she does. It's not hard. Nothing shines out brighter than Anakin's presence. It stands out as brilliantly as the sun, filled with a feeling that makes her almost... hyper. She feels him reaching back, his presence wrapping around her own. He's shielding despite it, but Ahsoka still picks up on an underlying sensation of... something dark. He's projecting something calm and contented, though, so Ahsoka lets herself focus on that above all else.

She pokes at their bond, the thread that now forever ties their souls together. Now that she focuses on his presence, she can actually... pinpoint it. She's never shared a stronger bond with anyone than the one she does with Master Plo, but that will soon change.

Something is nagging at her, beckoning for her to reach but a little farther into the Force, and she tries to reach it. It's hard – the sensation is distracting, and she automatically wants to touch it immediately.

"Take your time, Ahsoka." Anakin's voice slips to her through the Force. It sounds so loud out here in the world of nothing. "Rushing will only distract you."

It's interesting, she notices, because he's not really meditating. He's focused on her presence, not letting go of it, but he's not letting himself loose into the Force like Jedi normally do. Why not?

She decides to ask later, instead focusing on the Force, slowly working her way out farther. There's something, something like a black hole trying to draw her in, and Ahsoka, ever the curious, fearless padawan she is, reaches out to poke it.

She sees herself, slightly taller than now, her lekku a little longer, and the stripes on them just starting to shift to more vertical instead of horizontal, standing alone in a darkened room. She feels a ripple in the Force. It's stronger than anything Ahsoka's ever sensed or imagined before, something far more personal, and she instantly knows something terrible happened.

She braces herself against the wall, pressing a hand to her head as a raw, burning pain lances through it. It's sharp and ceaseless, as if something was ripped out of her mind and a gaping hole was left in its wake. She stumbles to her knees, tears spilling down her cheeks. "No," the Ahsoka whispers aloud. "No. He can't be gone."

Ahsoka jolts back to herself with a startled gasp, head snapping upwards. What in the galaxy was that?

Her master looks up from across from her, a thoughtful and slightly concerned expression on his face. "What happened?" he asks.

"I saw something. I don't know what, but – but it was..."

"Disconcerting?" Master Skywalker inquires, and she nods, shuddering. The sensation of – was that a bond breaking? – felt so incredibly real, Ahsoka could almost swear she's felt it before. Except, she knows she hasn't, so it doesn't make any sense.