By My Side

Chapter 31 - Hope

Author's Note: I can't say how much Ain't No Crying by Derivakat fits for this. T_T

Next chapter: November 2nd

~ Rivana Rita

He hasn't felt this... energy drained in a while. Not as though it matters how he does or doesn't feel anyway. Anakin knew what it would come to after Sidious captured him, but he hadn't wanted to accept it. He never wanted to believe that it was too late, because... well, he doesn't know, but either way, nothing can change how empty he feels now.

And dirty.

He can't even explain why. He just...

Why did this have to happen?

He doesn't know if he dozed off or not, only that he's abruptly jolted back to full awareness when he senses someone else leaning against the doorway. "Ventress," he greets curtly. He definitely doesn't want to be here when she is here.

"Skywalker," she replies, much too smoothly, "I believe your padawan is quite upset about your final return to this world."

"If you're here to mock me, you can see yourself out," he snaps back, "I defeated Sidious, while all you did was –"

"It was hardly worse than losing an arm," she drawls, "But I believe my master would like to know when you are ready to see him."

"There's nothing to see him for. I held up my end of the deal. Our alliance is over." Why does she have to choose now to talk to him? Anakin glances over at her and does a double take – she's not leaning on the doorway for leisure purposes or to rub it in his face that he's trapped here and she's not; it's because her leg was damaged enough that she can't stand on her own. A look at her with the Force confirms that – she's hiding it well, but Anakin can sense she's not half as comfortable as she's pretending to be.

"We saved your life."

"Ahsoka saved my life."

"My master saved you both," she throws back, "You cannot deny that."

"It is only Ahsoka that I owe for saving me," he insists, stubbornly. He can't be entirely certain about that, but he has no reason to believe anything else. He knows how Sith lie, after all. He's had far too much experience about it.

"Really," she scoffs, "Keep believing that, Jedi."

Any other time, Anakin would've had some sort of comeback, but right now, he doesn't want to do anything at all. It's probably a good thing there's not any weapon in the room – with how he is right now, he'd probably have run it through his heart before he could talk himself down from it. It might be better – it would be better for everyone.

He just killed one of his best friends. He didn't have to. He could've done anything else – he could have done it legally, could've had the courts deal with it. Anakin didn't have to... finish it, especially not like that, because even if he'd have died in a moment, it would've been far beyond excruciating to be burned to nothing by lava.

What did he do?

What has he become?

How does this make him any better than Sidious himself?

He doesn't have anyone to answer those questions.

He doesn't want to know the answers, either.

***

Outside, Ahsoka leans against a railing, staring across the landscape. There's not much to see. They're in a city, one on Separatist soil, and she doesn't exactly know where they are. Dooku never said.